Tag: relationship

The Eden Magazine September 2017 issue Proudly presenting Luca Bosurgi an Inspirational mind-spirit coach and healer

The Eden Magazine September 2017 issue Proudly presenting Luca Bosurgi an Inspirational mind-spirit coach and healer

The Eden Magazine - Luca bosurgi

The Eden Magazine September 2017 issue

 

The Eden magazine -Luca Bosurgi

Inspirational mind-spirit coach and healer, author and visionary speaker, creator of Mind Fitnes, CognitiveOS Hypnosis and the founder and CEO of the Mind Fitness Lab Corp.

 

The Eden Magazine - Luca Bosurgi

Luca Bosurgi was born in Rome, Italy, to an aristocratic Italian family, the descendants of the Marquis Bosurgi who have a 1,200-year history rich in art, engineering and enterprise. In the early 1890’s, Luca’s grandfather invented concentrated orange juice, and established himself as one of the first Italian Industrialists.

Luca’s history is an eclectic mix of experiences that mesh perfectly with his passion to increase human happiness and self-reliance. At an early age, Luca began receiving extensive spiritual teachings from a channeled holy master. By the time he was becoming an adult, Luca had acquired groundbreaking knowledge about the meaning of life, the spirit-mind hierarchy, the mechanics of the mind and how it relates to mankind’s journey of spiritual evolution.

Luca studied Business & Law at the University Bocconi in Milan. At 23, he was called on to rescue his family company,  Sanderson   & Sons in Messina, Sicily. In three years, Luca saved 1,500 jobs and secured the continued production of approximately 25,000 citrus farmers. This experience launched Luca into his first career, Investment Banking. At 28, Luca established his investment portfolio in Luxemburg with offices in London and New York. His company focused on Portfolio Management, VC Investments and M&A.

In 2005, after more than two decades of sharing his life between  his healing mission and the world of banking, he sold his business and moved to Los Angeles to establish his Mind Fitness™ School and Los Angeles practice. This was the beginning of Luca’s 11-yearlong journey towards perfecting Mind Fitness™, and it has allowed him to enhance and refine his method, improving his success rate from the initial 65% to more than 95% in the last five years. Today, thousands of people have experienced the Mind Fitness™, not only with Luca, but also with the approximately 20 Mind Healers that he has trained.

In 2014, Luca identified Virtual Reality as an effective channel to bring Mind Fitness™ to the public. This motivated him to build a team, and based on the Mind Fitness™ method, develop a Virtual Reality Mind Training solution. The efficacy of using VR as a delivery mechanism for the Mind Fitness™ was tested and proven out in beta testing, showing results that equaled those he obtained in his practice – exceeding 95%.

Additionally, Luca is a Medicine Man (Shaman) empowered with the gift of vision, known by his Native American spiritual name Red Cougar Mountain Spirit. He is also highly trained in ancient combat and martial arts (black belt in judo and karate), and initiated in Western and Easter mind-body disciplines.

Luca consistently seeks effective ways to impart greater balance and healing to those in need. He discovered the power of Clinical Hypnosis in the early 1990’s in London.

He was individually trained by Michael Joseph, Founder and President of the British Society of Clinical Hypnosis and publisher of the European Journal of Clinical Hypnosis. Clinical Hypnosis combined with his comprehensive knowledge of computer and digital science, metaphysics, psychology and ancient mind/spirit healing techniques, became the foundation of Luca’s new form  of psychotherapy and mind training, Mind Fitness™. Luca lives with his wife and three children in Santa Monica, California.

The Eden Magazine - Luca Bosurgi

 

Tell us about Luca Bosurgi?

Hmmm, where do I start? I’m Italian. I was born in Rome from an old Sicilian family. I lived an extraordinary life, jam-packed with the most complex and challenging experiences from which I’m  so deeply grateful.   I traveled the world, lived in many towns, met thousands of amazing people from different cultures, social status and beliefs, and learned from each one of them about   life and human behavior. I received vast spiritual training by a holy master, and great initiations by wonder-   ful teachers. I’ve  been an Investment Banker for over    25 years, and for the last decade I have been, and continue to be, a spiritual and mind fitness coach. My life has been a blessed journey of discovery and understanding of spirituality, integrated with the human nature and behaviors. I’m now based in Santa Monica California, where I see my clients, bring forward my mission, and enjoy my 3 young kids, who are the best teachers I ever had.

 

Tell us about your mission.

I’ve been passionate about the mind and human behaviors from childhood. I always loved observing people, imagining their thoughts and predicting their reactions; it was a fun game and I loved the challenge. Soon it became more than a game. I spent hours analyzing and comparing my own behaviors with the ones of others, trying to link the purpose of life with our desires and needs. A lot of it made  sense  to  me,  but  something was off. I trusted natures work to be perfect, our bod-   ies to be naturally healthy and balanced as well as our minds. But, most of my friends, and a lot of the world around me, were overwhelmed by emotions, battling anxiety, fear and stress, or  addiction  and  depression, and this was dramatically reducing their  performance and happiness. This was odd, and against the law of nature.  Emotions are meant to be at our service, not  our enemies. So, I embraced the challenge to identify   the cause of this widespread emotional disease, and possibly engineer solutions to clear this off so that people can live an easier, more effective, and happier life.

In  the  middle  of  my  thirties,  after  I  had  been  rack-ing my brain for years, I finally discovered the cause of these issues, a condition that I named Adult Emotional Dependency (AED). This is a mental disorder that compels emotional dependency from the people around us, causing a variety of emotional distress. In fact, the true hidden cause of most anxiety and fear is choking our society. Its consequences are so severe that the annual  cost of stress and anxiety in the US alone is estimated    to be $300BN in healthcare and lost productivity. I guess it remained undetected until today because it’s like the elephant in the room, such a common condition that    its symptoms are considered the ‘normal’ consequences  of modern society and are treated with drugs and symptom specific therapies, instead of hitting the root-cause.

This discovery changed my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The awareness that I had a rather easy solution to resolve and prevent such a globally devastating condition took over my life and became my mission. After a few years of dividing my time between my financial business and AED, I sold my company and came to California to dedicate all of my time to developing and testing   a program able to clear the condition and related consequences.

I achieved what I set out to do and as a result, the solution that I identified has already proven successful with over 3,000 clients. The next step is to broadcast this awareness to the world and help people  to  create  all sorts of educational and therapeutically approaches to eradicate Adult Emotional Dependency from our world. This will bring the world to the next evolutional stage where survival is used only in real threatening situations, where drugs and alcohol are used only for recreational purposes, where people can use all their undistracted brainpower to create, succeed, love, and where we can   all join our resources to clean and rebuild our world to be decent and kind.

 

Can you define Adult Emotional Dependency and Self-Reparenting?

In brief, AED is the consequence of a missing emotional development in young adults, where we are meant to self-reparent our bodies and minds into becoming emotionally self-reliant. The lack of self-reparenting shifts our emotional needs from our parents to the world around us, with consequences such as fear of judgment, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, anxiety, stress, addiction, depression, sadness, poor performances, people  ‘pleaser’, procrastination, self-doubt, neediness, social anxiety, poor  confidence,  lacking  an  identity,  loneliness, angerand so many more…

Self-reparenting is the act of self-adoption, where we assume a maternal and paternal role over our mind and body, becoming the sole indispensable provider of our own emotional needs. This transforms dependency to interdependency, needs to choices, and removes all the mental loops and distress related with the need for others as our essential emotional suppliers. You can read more about self-reparenting and AED at www.selfreparenting. org

 

The Eden Magazine - Luca Bosurgi

Do you mean, to take care of our wounded child within?

No! Proudly reparenting our body and mind as our own son or daughter of our actual age. We  don’t have in us    a wounded child, we own a superb life equipment (our mind and body) that requires our leadership and emotional supply.

Let me expand on the theory of self-reparenting. Our   life on Earth is a journey of learning and understanding, often defined as spiritual evolution. To enable us to live on this planet, we receive equipment (our mind and body) purposely built to give us a physical existence and to harvest awareness through experiences.

This equipment is built like a highly sophisticated biological robot, with eyes as cameras, ears as microphones, mouth as speaker, hands as tools, legs as transport system. Our brain acts as the board computer managed by our mind, the software that operates the entire system.

Our equipment has physical and emotional vital needs, these are meant to be satisfied by our parents during childhood. Around puberty we are meant to take charge of these needs, self-reparenting our body and mind. The level of success we achieve in our self-reparenting process is determined by the life-models we learned from our parents.

Though this is Nature’s plan, it frequently fails because our parents and/or guardians have not achieved emotional independence themselves, so they cannot model and teach these essential life skills to their children. Without good parental models of self-leadership and self-reliance we become either unaware or unable to make the vital self-reparenting step. This obliges our starving mind to shift the seeking of our emotional needs from our parents to the people around us. But people are not surrogating parents, bound by parental love, thus are usually unwilling and unable to satisfy our emotional needs. This is felt as rejection and lack of support triggering all the harsh emotional responses presently choking our society.

What is Mind Fitness?

Mind Fitness is the therapeutic program that I engineered with over 25 years of research and that I use with my clients to help them to implement and enhance their natural self-reparenting process and to remove past traumas.

The basic program spans on 12 sessions of spiritual teaching, life coaching & CognitiveOS Hypnosis®. Spiritual teaching helps implement self-reparenting, enhances self- love and self-leadership–this sets the natural spirit-mind’s alignment and instinctively promotes healthier choices. Life coaching helps to embrace more efficient and healthier behaviors – this fast-tracks the path to emotional freedom. CognitiveOS Hypnosis® helps integrate organically these new tools and models in my clients’ daily routine – this boosts their performance and effectiveness in just a few weeks. Each session is 60 minutes long and combines 30 minutes’ of spiritual-mind-life coaching with 30 minutes of CognitiveOS Hypnosis®, the results are fast and life-changing. It’s a flexible method that I offer in person or remotely via phone or Facetime. I embrace each healing journey with a deep sense of respect, love and responsibility, therefore I only  admit  clients that I strongly believe will gain results exceeding their expectations. My best candidates are highly smart people, technical enough, however, open to spirituality and ready to embrace their own emotional needs.

 

In your practice you use Hypnosis, how can this help people?

Hypnosis helps people to enter into the same deep state of meditation used by Buddhist monks in their practice. It  can be used for a variety of purposes. I use hypnosis   to reduce our natural doubts barrier to the new or unproven. This allows the mind to listen and eventually implement new behavioral models. My proprietary form of hypnosis keeps my clients relaxed and aware of their surroundings, while remaining under their own control and able to regain normal consciousness at any time.

 

What does CognitiveOS mean?

CognitiveOS Hypnosis is my proprietary language under hypnosis that I refined with over 30,000 sessions. It’s a communication protocol that the mind understands and responds positively. I believe that our mind is perfect and always strives to provide the best possible service trying to keep us safe and operate efficiently. Therefore, if we establish proper communication with the mind, offering safer and more efficient behavioral models, the mind will evaluate them and it will agree on their value, and will implement them in a very short time.

 

The Eden Magazine - Luca Bosurgi

Who can benefit from Mind Fitness?

We can all benefit from a good physical or mental workout, however the areas where Mind Fitness has demonstrated life changing results are with people suffering from anxiety, stress, PTSD, fear, alcoholism or depression, or with the ones that want to improve confidence, gain high-performance, better their relationships and their quality of life. Gaining control over our mind, allows us to gain control over our life, and this improves every aspect of our existence.

 

What inspired you to write your book “The Mind Shaman?”

I wrote The Mind Shaman as my first intent to bring awareness about self-reparenting to the world. It was written about 4 years ago. The terminology has changed and I progressed extensively in my research and thera-   py from then, but the basic concept of self-reparenting and the vital value that is represented and depicted in   the novel are all taken from a variety of real-life stories. Most of the stories described in the book are real events, experienced by me or my clients, of course the names  and locations are different, but the full content of the book refers to the dramatic transformations that I saw happen in me and my clients when we embraced self- reparenting.

 

Do you practice Shaman sessions?

I was reconnected with my past-life’s shamanic powers about 9 years ago by a powerful Apache Medicine Woman. I don’t  do ceremonies, but every day in my practice,  I connect the world of spirits with the world of matter, helping my clients to embrace the two realities and fuse them in one. In each session, I guide my clients in the Sacred Healing Space  of  the  Montaigne,  where  magic happens, and then inside their own beautiful mind, where more magic occurs.

 

How do you plan to expand your practice in the future?

In fact, I’m planning to reduce my practice to just a few clients and dedicate most of my time to educate our communities about self-reparenting and engineer tools like the Virtual Reality app that can help people worldwide.

 

How is your healing method different than other methods?

 

I guess the main difference is that most healing methods are symptom or behavior driven. Meaning that they focus on alleviating symptoms, or substituting behaviors. My method instead aims to restructure the needs and the priorities  of  the  mind.  This  consequently  removes the negative symptoms and promotes healthier behavioral choice, a much faster and long-lasting solution.

 

How is the “Virtual Reality Method” different from your one-on-one process?

The ‘Mind Fitness & Detox’ Virtual Reality app is a home Mind Fitness that replicates my program. It implements rather successfully the basics of my program promoting self-reparenting. Of course, it’s not tailor-made for specific client’s needs but does the job. `

 

How do you feel about using Prescription Drugs when a person has depression? Is it helpful?

Sure, if you don’t have alternatives, drugs will help you  to cope. But depression is typically not an organic illness, it’s an overload brain because of excess of anxiety and fear. These burn available brainpower into reducing every other brains activities to a crippling stage. To end depression, we just need to end the causes of anxiety and fear.   I saw dozens of clients that had suffered years of depression and end depression in just a couple of weeks. The main problem with drugs, apart from the side effects, is that they are only targeting the symptoms and altering the chemical of the brain, when the root problem is in the mind.

Photography by: Brenda Saint Hilaire Photography

Suit by: Valentino

Location: Mind Fitness, Santa Monica, CA

THEEDENMAGAZINE.COM  September 2017

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Luca Bosurgi answers Quora’s questions about the mind, anxiety, fear, depression, addiction, etc.

Luca Bosurgi answers Quora’s questions about the mind, anxiety, fear, depression, addiction, etc.

How do you eliminate pointless fear / general anxiety without medication?

Luca Bosurgi

Luca Bosurgi, Mind Fitness, Life & Spiritual Coach
Part 1: The Identity Of Our Spirit

Part 1: The Identity Of Our Spirit

Our exploration starts from the identity of our spirit.

I’m often asked by my clients to help them connect with their spirits. Many of them have invested years of spiritual practice to gain this connection. I believe we can’t connect with our spirit, because we are our spirit.

We are old spirits engaged in an educational journey that started a long time ago, from a place of brute primitiveness and ignorance. Through the experiences of many existences we have evolved to where we are now. Each existence has helped us grow and progress toward a place of expanded awareness and unconditional love, which is the goal of our spiritual journey.

Expanding awareness is the purpose of our life on Earth. Imagine our time as humans as a 24/7 school, where we gain learning and understanding through our experiences. Each experience, whether good or challenging, teaches us something precious and helps us grow. During this learning process, we are provided with lessons focused on specific topics, like learning how to respect love, money, become emotionally independent, live in the moment, respect others, allow happiness, and so on.

Each lesson keeps us on the hook and repeats itself with increased pressure until it is gained and implemented. Like in school, we must stay in the same class until we pass before we’re able to move on. This may be a fast and happy process or a very painful one. It depends on our ability to understand the process and embrace the lessons that life presents.   

Most of my clients come with a sense of regret for the time wasted battling with failures, struggle, and fear. During our work they learn how to appreciate and capitalize on challenging experiences. They leave grateful and enriched about their past. Our past can be felt as a sequence of failures, or as a powerful learning process. It depends how we look at it.

We are spirits that have arrived on Earth to improve our awareness. To carry out our mission, we are equipped with a physical body purposely built for the task. Imagine you are exploring a world where you can’t survive or operate without proper equipment. You would use gear that is designed to be suitable for your environment and equipped with sensors, cameras, and tools that you may require for the job. The gear that we use to live on Earth is our mind and body, purposely built for the task and the Earth’s environment. We have legs for transport, hands as tools, eyes as cameras, ears as microphones, and so on.

The notion of separation between us and our body, and the relationship that we implement with it will determine the quality and effectiveness of our life.

In the next part of this series, we will explore the relationship between us as spirit and our body. If you have questions feel free to contact me.

Thank you for reading!

Dating games and why do we play them?

Dating games and why do we play them?

Is your intention to find a person who you can have a good trustful relationship with? And you are meeting potentially suitable partners and in the beginning everything goes well, but after a little while you start being aware about the words, phone calls, text messages, initiation of dates and activities, etc. The poor mind gets caught in the game of the rules, impulses, desires and fears of rejection and judgment. However, on the background of this battle your consciousness keeps raising the question: why can’t things be easy and natural? Why can’t we just agree that we like each other and start acting as our real selves?

To answer this question you can think of your first relationship or dating experience. Most of the young people follow their hearts for the first time with hopes and sincerity until the first rejection comes into scene. We all know how it felt and most of us didn’t want to experience it again. Going forward, we start using the rules of a dating game as a form of protection from being hurt.

We start trusting the rules because they are supposed to lead us in the right direction and create the best outcome whether it is going into the relationship or dating a variety of people. Just like any other rules which are created to support our life and make it easier and better, we start relying on the rules and we allow them to lead us, making decisions for us and directing our actions. Why? Because we don’t trust ourselves, we are too scared of stepping into the territory where the risks are higher, but the rewards are much more satisfying too. What we often forget, though, is that going after what we truly believe in, regardless of the result, is empowering by all means because it allows us to follow our true selves instead of being part of the game.  When we are not confident in ourselves and afraid that the other person will not like us for who we are, we trust the rules and we believe that they will put us in a safer place.

What is the downside of playing the game? We feel worn out because we become dependent on the rules, we are not acting according to our desires and impulses, which is what we want to, we are doing what we have to or what is expected of us.

Expectations are another interesting phenomena. We create expectations of other people and we create our own ideas of what they expect from us. So we start living in an imaginary world of our fantasies about what is going on, reacting not to the real person’s actions and words, but to our own interpretation of them. What makes it even funnier is that we take it very seriously and blame the other person for not fulfilling our expectations of them. But with all the fairness, why should they?..

So, how do we get from being open and sincere young people to confused and disappointed adults? We get lost in fears of being rejected and judged, we long for acceptance and hence adopt the social norms and rules because they seem to be the path for achieving our goals of unity. We rely on the external resource to make us happy just like later in the relationship we rely on the other person to make us feel good. However after a while later living together we find out that our partner has changed, rules don’t seem to apply anymore and we experience the sense of disappointment. The reality is that the other person has just become comfortable and become themselves. But are we always prepared to deal with the real person instead of someone driven by rules and expectations? If we are not, we start the game of getting control, attention, love, etc.

There is an escape from the game though. It’s called self-leadership and self-sufficiency. How do you reach it? By repositioning your relationship with the world. It is a fairly easy concept which completely changes your paradigm of thinking. To explain it, let’s go back to the nature of humans and the mechanisms of survival. When we are born, we are dependent on the care, love and leadership of our caretakers. We rely on external sources to help us be comfortable and learn how to live on our own. When we reach puberty, we are supposed to become independent and take the responsibility for own life and wellbeing. However, if during our childhood we didn’t quite learn how to do it, we will keep relying on external sources to provide us love, attention, acceptance, safety and guidance. Why does it happen? Sometimes our parents don’t give us a good example of an independent, happy and self-sufficient life.  Sometimes they don’t make us feel good enough and that we can make it on our own by exercising control, criticism or establishing a lot of rules. Love and attention become conditioned and life becomes a competition for getting those precious resources. A recent theory by L. Bosurgi calls this reliance on the external world in adult life an overextended natural instinct of codependency or Bosurgi Syndrome. To terminate it, a person needs to become the leader of their own life, provide to themselves love, acceptance, validation and leadership and become responsible for their personal, professional and emotional success. Self-love and acceptance is the way to love and relate to others without depending on them. If we accomplish this, we become immune to what the world thinks of us, to the games, rules, etc. We will make our own rules based on our values and principles and we will be choosing partners and relationships not out of a place of need and fear, but out of a place of our desire and a conscious choice.

What Drives Relationships?

What Drives Relationships?

Over the years of talking to different people about relationship and marriage, I’ve noticed several common traits in people’s motivation to be in a relationship. I’m sure each one of us can relate to one of them thinking about our own relationships at some point in time. These common traits are: emotions (love, excitement, affection, care, connection, etc.); fear of loneliness; having a role or a status of a boyfriend or girlfriend (feeling of belonging); support of specific needs (accommodation, financial support, emotional support, etc.).

Let’s look at these four motivations for starting a relationship, all of them are legitimate and fair, and all of them have one fundamental thing in common: they start with self-deficiency. We are lacking happiness, we feel lonely or needy for attention and love, we are afraid to be ourselves and want to jump into a role of a boyfriend/girlfriend to be someone, and finally we just need to survive and want someone else to take care of us.

Then we start dating and we start sensing if the other person is giving in and allowing us to source what we are lacking. If this is the case, we consider it to be a successful relationship and progress with it. However if the other person becomes resistant to providing us with what we are looking for, we resent, depress, increase our efforts to get it, victimize ourselves or just leave blaming the other person for failing the relationship.

Then we start the next ‘treasure hunt’ with another person and most likely find ourselves in the same situation as before. We wonder why does the pattern repeat? Because the self-deficiency is still there and most likely we are looking for partners who can patch up our hole. However the other person is not responsible for doing this. The responsibility to fix ourselves first is on us. Only after we take care of our deficiency, we can relate to the other person on the basis of our shared goals and values instead of our unfulfilled needs.    

The mechanism which keeps us revolving around our deficiencies putting us through the same life experiences is codependency. Not in the way we are used to think about it though. Codependency, as defined by Luca Bosurgi, is a healthy instinct which helps children get through their childhood, stay safe around their parents and learn from them, receive love, validation, acceptance and guidance and then become independent at the time of puberty. If the parents don’t give these important things to their child, he doesn’t learn how to love and lead himself and stay emotionally dependent on other people or circumstances (work, beauty, etc.) for receiving love, validation and leadership.  This need creates self-deficiency which creates unfulfillment in relationships.

The way to break the chain of similar events and relationships is to move the source of love, validation and leadership from the external world to self: take responsibility for own life, take care of own needs and make your own happiness and fulfillment a priority. Because if we don’t care about ourselves, no one else will.

A Pound of Red Apples (A story about relationships)

A Pound of Red Apples (A story about relationships)

Imagine that you have a friend named Mary. Mary has 3 green apples, but you need a pound of red apples.  Logically it would have made sense to go to the market and buy a pound of red apples from someone who is ready to sell you a pound of red apples, but the market is too far and who knows if there are apples there at all?  What if it is closed down for inventory or maintenance? Meanwhile your friend Mary is here, right in front of you and she is cool.  So you make a brave assumption that somewhere Mary should have a pound of red apples. Deep in her heart. You also believe that if you apply necessary efforts, she will give them to you, which is what you really want.

“Hey Mary, do you want to go to the movies?” you say with a nice smile on your face.  Mary is surprised, but most likely she wants to go, especially because you pretend you really want to take her out.   So you take Mary to the movies, but interestingly enough a pound of red apples doesn’t appear after this. “What the heck?” you think and then take her out for coffee. You take her dog for a walk, paint her walls, fix her car, but nothing happens. “What a witch!” you think indignantly, however offer for her to move in with you. The price of red apples is now sky high. Forget about the market, now you need to get your apples specifically from Mary.  You tell yourself that she is your fate and now it is pretty clear how the story will end: the day will come when someone will be screaming “I have given you my life, and you can’t find the bloody apples for me?!” And someone else will be sobbing and saying: “I don’t have any apples, why in the world have you decided I do?”

And, honestly, why did you decide that? I purposefully don’t consider the situation when deceitful Mary laboriously misleads you because she simply likes to go to the movies (although often this is exactly what happens). However in many cases we, ourselves, are not quite honest in our intentions and other people eventually don’t have what we are looking for: a pound of red apples, a wish to have five kids with us, an intention to spend vacations together, an ability to have honest conversations, and trivially – loving us. Consequently they don’t have a capability to demonstrate this love.  And this is normal, just like it is normal to want all these wonderful things.

What is not normal is to racketeer trying to shake out from the first nice person who come our way something that they don’t have, just because somewhere deep in their heart they may still have it.

They don’t. If someone has something for you, they will gladly give it to you by themselves. Not from the depth of their heart, but from all of it.

Selfishness is a very common thing in relationships. We often want to be happy the way we think we need to be happy coming to the relationship with the specific agenda. Or we simply hope that the other person will make us happy, take away the loneliness and bring stability and comfort. This reliance on the external source of love and comfort makes us blind to the needs of our partner and go after securing relationship benefits for ourselves. In the end it creates a lot of dissatisfaction, misunderstanding and disappointment.

The reason for selfishness is our inability to be good with ourselves, to love ourselves and not to be emotionally dependent on our partner. This happens because we may still be in the emotional position of a child who is expecting to receive love, attention and guidance from the parents. This condition is called overextended childhood codependency, or Bosurgi Syndrome.

The way to get out of this dependency is to establish our own leadership over our life, find the meaningful purpose and get comfortable with our true identity. One of the ways to do it is CognitiveOS Hypnosis therapy which helps clients to terminate childhood codependency, revise their goals, enable themselves to be emotionally independent, start living in the moment and feel comfortable with themselves no matter what.

To stay or to leave?..

To stay or to leave?..

How many of us had relationships where this question has never been raised at least hypothetically? We either ask it to ourselves or worry that it may be a concern of our partner. In either case thinking about separation brings discomfort, anxiety, uncertainty, guilt, fears, frustration, etc.

In some of my trainings I conduct a little exercise.  I write ‘separation’ in the middle of a flip chart and ask people to write their association with this word on a post-it note and stick it to the flip chart. No surprise, 95% of the associations are negative. We like to have and we don’t like to let go.

To help you with this struggle, I suggest a different view on separation. In the physical world we live in separation is an inescapable reality. “In the world nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.” once said Benjamin Franklin. So why does the most certain thing in the world bring us so much anxiety and uncertainty?

Separation is a basis of our life’s cycle. As we grow up we separate from our parents to live our own lives and create our own families.  We join and separate a lot of educational institutions, groups of friends, clubs, jobs, locations, etc.  Later on in life we separate from our own children when they leave home, from our older family members who pass away and so on until our own death.

So what is the idea behind the separation? A friend of mine, Olivia Bareham, who is a specialist in death and dying said, “We only love and enjoy something because we know that one day it will no longer be there.  That’s why we enjoy fresh flowers and don’t enjoy fake ones.”  Separation, or knowing that one day things will come to their end, changes our perspective, makes us improve, change, do things better, value what we have, enjoy the relationship with another person. Separation is healthy, otherwise our lives will be full of old things, people and situations. Every separation gives us back a part of ourselves and reminds us of our own value, identity and purpose. It helps us break the old dysfunctional patterns and ties, face reality and change it for the better.

So how can we embrace the idea of separation and include it in our life’s journey? First of all we need to realize that the only person who will stay with us till the very end is ourselves. Other things, people or situations are external to us and can change or part from us at any time. Thus the only thing worth investing into is ourselves.

When we create clear and healthy boundaries with the external environment, cutting all the dependencies and assuming ownership and leadership of our own lives, we become the managers of ourselves always choosing what is better for us. Some people call it selfishness, but if you think about it, it’s the opposite. To live the way you want is not selfish, it is selfish to expect others to think and live the way you want.

In the ideal situation our parents bring us to our teen years with enough support, leadership, care and love.  This allows us to separate from them mentally and physically and become self-sufficient. This first significant and important separation in our lives sets the tone for the way we approach and handle ourselves in relationships, personal and professional, and in other situations in our lives. If this separation is compromised, the instinct of childhood codependency stays active which prevents the person from creating a safe and trustful connection with the world.

You may guess what happens next. People grow in age and size, but keep relying on external sources of leadership, guidance, love, attention and validation. This condition is called Bosurgi Syndrome. It creates vulnerability, hence anxiety, fears and make people feel unsafe. In this context any separation is considered by the mind as a threat to the emotional and physical safety of the person creating a lot of pain and discomfort. It also keeps the person in the position of a receiver, e.g. I need to receive attention, validation, love and guidance from others in order to feel safe and good about myself.  Again, separating from the sources of these emotions becomes very stressful.  A self-sufficient person who leads and loves themselves, becomes a giver and views separations not as a personal horror, but as a natural process of life change. A giver doesn’t see in their partner a provider of emotional or physical comfort, but makes a choice based on the qualities supporting a strong and trustful connection.

If an unsatisfying relationship is part of your life and your mind is full of doubts and dilemmas, remember the first important separation in your life, separation from your parents, and think about the nature of your connection with them in the present. If you find any traces of trying to prove yourself to others, feeling not good enough, guilt, anger, control, etc. it may mean that it’s time to work through those unproductive feelings and dependencies, and set yourself free to make the choices out of your personal confidence, peace and independence.

To learn more about adult codependency, the Bosurgi Syndrome, it’s consequences, treatment and prevention, visit the website. You can also ask your questions on our blog.

The Habits Of Supremely Happy People

The Habits Of Supremely Happy People

Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, theorizes that while 60 percent of happiness is determined by our genetics and environment, the remaining 40 percent is up to us.

Seligman describes three different kinds of happy lives: The pleasant life, in which you fill your life with as many pleasures as you can, the life of engagement, where you find a life in your work, parenting, love and leisure and the meaningful life, which “consists of knowing what your highest strengths are, and using them to belong to and in the service of something larger than you are.”

After exploring what accounts for ultimate satisfaction, Seligman says he was surprised. The pursuit of pleasure, research determined, has hardly any contribution to a lasting fulfillment. Instead, pleasure is “the whipped cream and the cherry” that adds a certain sweetness to satisfactory lives founded by the simultaneous pursuit of meaning and engagement.

And while it might sound like a big feat to tackle great concepts like meaning and engagement (pleasure sounded much more doable), happy people have habits you can introduce into your everyday life that may add to the bigger picture of bliss. Joyful folk have certain inclinations that add to their pursuit of meaning — and motivate them along the way.

They surround themselves with other happy people.
Joy is contagious. Researchers of the Framingham Heart Study who investigated the spread of happiness over 20 years found that those who are surrounded by happy people “ are moe likely to become happy in the future.” This is reason enough to dump the Debbie Downers and spend more time with uplifting people.

They smile when they mean it.

Even if you’re not feeling so chipper, cultivating a happy thought — and then smiling about it — could up your happiness levels and make you more productive, according to a study published in the Academy of Management Journal. It’s important to be genuine with your grin: The study revealed that faking a smile while experiencing negative emotions could actually worsen your mood.

They cultivate resilience.

According to psychologist Peter Kramer, resilience, not happiness, is the opposite of depression: Happy people know how to bounce back from failure. Resilience is like a padding for the inevitable hardship human beings are bound to face. As the Japanese proverb goes, “Fall seven times and stand up eight.”

They try to be happy. 
Yep — it’s as simple as it sounds: just trying to be happy can boost your emotional well-being, according to two studies recently published in The Journal of Positive Psychology. Those who actively tried to feel happier in the studies reported the highest level of positive moods, making a case for thinking yourself happy.

They are mindful of the good.

It’s important to celebrate great, hard-earned accomplishments, but happy people give attention to their smaller victories, too. “When we take time to notice the things that go right — it means we’re getting a lot of little rewards throughout the day,” Susan Weinschenk, Ph.D. told The Huffington Post in May. “That can help with our moods.” And, as Frank Ghinassi, Ph.D. explains, being mindful of the things that do go your way (even something as simple as the barista getting your coffee order right) can make you feel a greater sense of accomplishment throughout the day.

They appreciate simple pleasures.

A meticulously swirled ice cream cone. An boundlessly waggy dog. Happy people take the time to appreciate these easy-to-come-by pleasures. Finding meaning in the little things, and practicing gratitude for all that you do have is associated with a sense of overall gladness.

They devote some of their time to giving.

Even though there are only 24 hours in a day, positive people fill some of that time doing good for others, which in return, does some good for the do-gooders themselves. A long-term research project called Americans’ Changing Lives found a bevy of benefits associated with altruism: “Volunteer work was good for both mental and physical health. People of all ages who volunteered were happier and experienced better physical health and less depression,” reported Peggy Thoits, the leader of one of the studies.

Givers also experience what researchers call “the helper’s high,” a euphoric state experienced by those engaged in charitable acts. “This is probably a literal “high,” similar to a drug-induced high,” writes Christine L. Carter, Ph.D. “The act of making a financial donation triggers the reward center in our brains that is responsible for dopamine-mediated euphoria.”

They let themselves lose track of time. (And sometimes they can’t help it.)

When you’re immersed in an activity that is simultaneously challenging, invigorating and meaningful, you experience a joyful state called “flow.” Happy people seek this sensation of getting “caught up” or “carried away,” which diminishes self-consciousness and promotes the feelings associated with success. As explained by Pursuit-of-happiness.org, “In order for a Flow state to occur, you must see the activity as voluntary, enjoyable (intrinsically motivating), and it must require skill and be challenging (but not too challenging) with clear goals towards success.”

They nix the small talk for deeper conversation.

Nothing wrong with shootin’ the you-know-what every now and then, but sitting down to talk about what makes you tick is a prime practice for feeling good about life. A study published in Psychological Science found that those who take part in more substantive conversation and less trivial chit chat experienced more feelings of satisfaction.

“I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings,” is one of the top five regrets of the dying — a sentiment that hints at the fact that people wish they’d spent less time talking about the weather and more time delving into what it is that makes their heart swell.

They spend money on other people.

Maybe money does buy happiness. A study published in Science found that spending money on other people has a more direct impact on happiness than spending money on oneself.

They make a point to listen.

“When you listen you open up your ability to take in more knowledge versus blocking the world with your words or your distracting thoughts,” writes David Mezzapelle, author of Contagious Optimism. “You are also demonstrating confidence and respect for others. Knowledge and confidence is proof that you are secure and positive with yourself thus radiating positive energy.” Good listening is a skill that strengthens relationships and leads to more satisfying experiences. A good listener may walk away from a conversation feeling as if their presence served a purpose, an experience that is closely connected with increased well-being.

They uphold in-person connections.

It’s quick and convenient to text, FaceTime and tweet at your buddies. But spending the money on a flight to see your favorite person across the country has weight when it comes to your well-being. “There’s a deep need to have a sense of belonging that comes with having personal interactions with friends,” says John Cacioppo, Ph.D., the director of the Center of Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago. Social media, while it keeps us in touch, doesn’t allow us to physically touch, which harvests the warm-and-fuzzies and even decreases feelings of anxiety.

They look on the bright side.
Optimism touts plenty of health benefits, including less stress, a better tolerance for pain and, as HuffPost Healthy Living recently reported, longevity among those with heart disease. When you choose to see the silver lining, you’re also choosing health and happiness.

Seligman summed up perhaps the greatest characteristic of the optimist in one of his most acclaimed books, Learned Optimism:

The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, and are their own fault. The optimists, who are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world, think about misfortune in the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case. The optimists believe defeat is not their fault: Circumstances, bad luck, or other people brought it about. Such people are unfazed by defeat. Confronted by a bad situation, they perceive it as a challenge and try harder.

 They value a good mixtape.

Music is powerful. So powerful, in fact, that it could match up to the anxiety-reducing effects of massage therapy. Over a three month period, researchers from the Group Health Research Institute found that patients who simply listened to music had the same decreased anxiety symptoms as those who got 10 hour-long massages. Choosing the right tunes could be an important factor, however, as a happy or sad song can also affect the way we perceive the world. In one experiment where researchers asked subjects to identify happy or sad faces while listening to music, the participants were more likely to see the faces that matched the “mood” of the music.

They unplug.
Whether by meditating, taking a few deep breaths away from the screen or deliberately disconnecting from electronics, unplugging from our hyper-connected world has proven advantages when it comes to happiness. Talking on your cell could increase your blood pressure and raise your stress levels, while uninterrupted screen time has been linked to depression and fatigue. Technology isn’t going away, but partaking in some kind of a digital detox gives your brain the opportunity to recharge and recover, which — bonus — could increase your resilience.

They get spiritual.

Studies point to a link between religious and spiritual practice and mirth. For one, happiness habits like expressing gratitude, compassion and charity are generally promoted in most spiritual conventions. And, asking the big questions helps to give our lives context and meaning. A 2009 study found that children who felt their lives had a purpose (which was promoted by a spiritual connection) were happier.

Spirituality offers what the 20th-century sociologist Emile Durkheim referred to as “sacred time,” which is a built-in, unplugging ritual that elicits moments of reflection and calm. As Ellen L. Idler, Ph.D., writes in “The Psychological and Physical Benefits of Spiritual/Religious Practics,”:

The experience of sacred time provides a time apart from the “profane time” that we live most of our lives in. A daily period of meditation, a weekly practice of lighting Sabbath candles, or attending worship services, or an annual retreat in an isolated, quiet place of solitude all of these are examples of setting time apart from the rush of our everyday lives. Periods of rest and respite from work and the demands of daily life serve to reduce stress, a fundamental cause of chronic diseases that is still the primary causes of death in Western society. Transcendent spiritual and religious experiences have a positive, healing, restorative effect, especially if they are “built in,” so to speak, to one’s daily, weekly, seasonal, and annual cycles of living

They make exercise a priority.

A wise, albeit fictional Harvard Law School student once said, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.” Exercise has been shown to ease symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress, thanks to the various brain chemicals that are released that amplify feelings of happiness and relaxation. Plus, working out makes us appreciate our bodies more. One study published in the Journal of Health Psychology found that exercise improved how people felt about their bodies — even if they didn’t lose weight or achieve noticeable improvements.

They go outside.

Want to feel alive? Just a 20-minute dose of fresh air promotes a sense of vitality, according to several studies published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology. “Nature is fuel for the soul, ” says Richard Ryan, Ph.D., the lead author of the studies. “Often when we feel depleted we reach for a cup of coffee, but research suggests a better way to get energized is to connect with nature.” And while most of us like our coffee hot, we may prefer our serving of the great outdoors at a more lukewarm temperature: A study on weather and individual happiness unveiled 57 degrees to be the optimal temperature for optimal happiness.

They spend some time on the pillow.

Waking up on the wrong side of the bed isn’t just a myth. When you’re running low on zzs, you’re prone to experience lack of clarity, bad moods and poor judgment. “A good night’s sleep can really help a moody person decrease their anxiety,” Dr. Raymonde Jean, director of sleep medicine and associate director of critical care at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital Center told Health.com. “You get more emotional stability with good sleep.”

They LOL.

You’ve heard it before: Laughter is the best medicine. In the case of The Blues, this may hold some truth. A good, old-fashioned chuckle releases happy brain chemicals that, other than providing the exuberant buzz we seek, make humans better equipped to tolerate both pain and stress.

And you might be able to get away with counting a joke-swapping session as a workout (maybe). “The body’s response to repetitive laughter is similar to the effect of repetitive exercise,” explained Dr. Lee Berk, the lead researcher of a 2010 study focused on laughter’s effects on the body. The same study found that some of the benefits associated with working out, like a healthy immune system, controlled appetite and improved cholesterol can also be achieved through laughter.

They walk the walk.
Ever notice your joyful friends have a certain spring in the step? It’s all about the stride, according to research conducted by Sara Snodgrass, a psychologist from Florida Atlantic University.

In the experiment, Snodgrass asked participants to take a three-minute walk. Half of the walkers were told to take long strides while swinging their arms and holding their heads high. These walkers reported feeling happier after the stroll than the other group, who took short, shuffled steps as they watched their feet.

The Huffington Post  |  By Kate Bratskeir Posted: 09/16/2013 8:35 am EDT

Karma redefined

Karma redefined

From the book The Mind Shaman-

“We will never appreciate and be thankful enough for a life on Earth. Each time that we are allowed to reenter a physical body, our new life has to be entirely organized and sustained by the Higher Forces. It’s a highly complex and challenging project, tailor-made for each individual stage of evolution and in constant transformation as a result of our free will. The divine intelligence called Karma is responsible for this plan and generates experiences according to our learning plan and the time that we require to learn each lesson that comes with it. The same experience may have to be re-proposed a number of times before it is learned. This will delay or stall the progression of our life. Or on the flip side, if the experience is immediately capitalized and the lesson proposed by it is learned quickly, the life progression becomes much faster than originally planned.
“Let’s define Karma again and expand on this concept. In many philosophies, Karma represents the fatalistic consequence of what we did during our lives, an action and reaction. This concept of reward and/or punishment according to your past actions is a naive explanation of the precious and complex work accomplished by Karma. Karma is not either a law or a divine mechanism for reward or punishment. Karma is the divine intelligence that drives our ‘Angels’ training strategy’ throughout our spiritual journey: from dark ignorance to perfection. It’s that wonderful divine program that generates the time and type of reincarnations, as well as our lives’ teaching and experiences according to our spiritual weaknesses or to our next lesson in our learning schedule.
“With stubborn precision, Karma will make us live the same type of experience again and again until we learn that specific lesson. If we abuse money, Karma will make us struggle financially until we learn to respect the energy of wealth. If we abuse love, we may experience dreadful periods of solitude until we learn the value of feelings. What may seem to be punishment are really lessons generated in order to provide us with that specific awareness and knowledge. Karma is also responsible for the incredibly accurate generation of the teachings that we require in the exact moments we are ready for them. The saying ‘When the student is ready, the teacher will appear’ is, in fact, talking about the work of Karma.
“Most people are unaware that we can influence our Karma in many ways. Understanding the lesson that we need to learn from a challenging experience, as well as acquiring specific knowledge sooner than planned, will shorten the experience and avoid new similar ones. Keeping our mind and senses alert toward new understanding and teachings increases exponentially the flow of awareness and knowledge that we are able to receive. But we can go further by surrendering and starting to work hand in hand with Karma, as we would with our headmaster. This can be done by carefully analyzing repetitive patterns and identifying the experiences when they are still in the formative state. If we are able to read these messages and learn the lesson before they become a challenging experience, Karma will be satisfied and the experience can be avoided. This transforms our relationship with Karma from a passive feeling of fatality to a constructive and grateful attitude for every experience received, good or bad. Mastering the relationship with Karma puts us in charge of our evolution, allowing for a much more enjoyable, efficient, and powerful life.

“If Karma is the headmaster, then the Spirit Guides are our tutors. These are souls enrolled in our same ‘Angels’ training’ process, but they offer their tutoring services to incarnated spirits while they are in between lives. We all have one or more Spirit Guide that tutors and supports certain periods of our lives. This challenging noble action rewards the Spirit Guides with new experiences lived through their protégé. The feminine spirit that accompanied you during the first part of your life, on one hand, helped you to progress, silently tutoring your actions and supporting your falls; on the other hand, she has learned from your experiences, advancing her further in her spiritual evolution. Spirit Guides stay with us for the time of specific learning or certain pages of our lives. When those are accomplished, they move on, replaced by new Spirit Guides that will take us through the next class. It’s just magical how much love and intelligence follows our training.

http://lucabosurgi.com

You can’t love anyone if you don’t love yourself.

You can’t love anyone if you don’t love yourself.

From the book the Mind Shaman-

“All right, let’s talk about your partnership with Diana. I would wait until our work is completed before you evaluate or make any decision about your relationship or any other aspect of your life. You will see that many of your priorities are going to change, and you are going to see life differently. This is the normal process experienced by each client that clears codependency. Today, despite the fact that you are nineteen, you are still in the typical self-centered attitude of a young man of ten years old, struggling with too many personal issues to be able to focus on a partner. When you will position yourself at the top of the vertical hierarchy over your mind and your mind over your body, you will be so happy with yourself that you will forget about you. Then you will be fit for love. You can’t love anyone if you don’t love yourself, because you are still too focused on solving your personal issues.

“My Spiritual Teacher has compared love as a train track, two rails always progressing together in the same direction but never crossing. Khalil Gibran in his book The Prophet compared love to the same wine drunk from different glasses, two strings of the violin playing the same note. Our evolution is single. We can walk together with someone else for a period or for all of our life, but our evolutions will remain individual and never merge. Therefore, individuals create powerful unions. You mentioned my wife and me. It’s a good example. We are both strong and independent. We trust and love each other enormously, and we try to spend all of our available time together. We focus on our reciprocal needs, but we don’t depend emotionally on each other. This makes our marriage a 50 percent mutual effort, keeping us faithfully together but single in our spiritual evolution. We choose to be together every day, and our choice is based on the pleasure of being with each other, not on the fear of being alone or unloved. All that comes from joy, efficiency, and power is the fruit of a well-balanced vertical hierarchy, spirit over mind, and mind over body. In contrast, everything that originates from neediness or fears is the indication of lack of structure and typically does not last.”

Are Relationships Ruled by the Heart or the Mind?

Are Relationships Ruled by the Heart or the Mind?

This essay brings to your attention the two very frequent scenarios of behaviors in relationships. A lot of people go through similar experiences and wish to change the situation. I suggest a different view at the problem, in fact, I shouldn’t call it a problem, rather an adaptive mechanism of your mind. This perspective shows you why your mind believes that it needs to apply the dysfunctional behaviors. The reason is the instinct of codependency which, if failed to terminate at puberty, prevents you from being self-sufficient. It holds the key to turning the situation around by fulfilling the critical needs of your mind and hence stopping the crippling codependency.

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We may be the cause of our children’s anxiety, fears and depression in their adult life

We may be the cause of our children’s anxiety, fears and depression in their adult life

It’s a scary statement but unfortunately corresponds to an indisputable reality. Our mind set as well as our parenting skills will either determine happiness and efficiency in our children’s adult life, or make them miserable.

In the first 12 years of their life, our children depend entirely on us. We mold their minds by demonstrating our leadership, love, safety, validation and guidance. They also unconsciously mirror all of our behaviors, success or fears, our approach to relationships and our attitude to life. They build their life’s models accordingly.

I have been researching new models of the mind for over twenty years, and found solutions that have helped hundreds of clients to gain happiness and efficiency in their life. But only recently have I been able to isolate the real cause of most modern psychological issues. I discovered a disorder originated by poor parenting that affects possibly half of the American population, if not more.

This is a condition that I call the Bosurgi Syndrome, which describes the devastating effects of overextended codependency in adult life. Fear of rejection, fear of judgment and abandonment, lack of self-confidence, anger, social anxiety, lack of identity and purpose, neediness or numbness in relationships, feeling like a fraud or a kid trapped in adult mind and body are just some of the devastating symptoms caused by the Bosurgi Syndrome.
Codependency is typically described as an excessive dependency to parents, partners or friends, but my research revealed this behavior to be a byproduct of the real issue.

Codependency is in fact, a healthy instinct provided by nature to every child at birth. It is built into children’s behavioral system to keep them safe and allow their parents to educate them in the first 12 years of life. It operates at the emotional level to maintain children’s dependence and need of leadership, love, safety, validation and guidance during their first vulnerable period of existence.

Since a young child is unable to navigate the world, this natural codependent instinct keeps our children close to home. If they get too far away from their parents or their teachers (which act as substitute parents) children get anxious and nervous. This instinct also keeps children in the learning mode. They soak up information like sponges.

If proper parenting is provided, based on fair leadership, unconditional love, a safe emotional and physical environment, lots of validation and precise guidance, the young adult will learn a proper model of self-leadership and the instinct of codependency will terminate at puberty. The young adult will then successfully use the teenager period to learn how to be a man or a woman, in order to gain a powerful life clear from anxiety, fears and depression.

If instead, we don’t provide our children with proper models of leadership, because we are in codependency ourselves or unable to take care of them or just not aware of the gravity of this issue, our kids will not know how to lead themselves in the process of becoming adults. This lack of self-leadership will actively maintain the instinct of codependency after puberty, with the consequence that the young adult will enter into the teenager period still held by the juvenile emotional ties of codependency.

The result will be that throughout the teenage period, there will be progressively severe issues of anxiety and fears, feeling of being an outsider and self-consciousness with their peers. It will cause social anxiety or a pleaser attitude with the intent of trying to belong, in some case eating disorders, and in others, anger and rebellion.

Some teenagers will try to cope with numbing substances such as drugs or alcohol, some will isolate themselves in safe environments like video games or excessive computer use, some will carry on with their lives focusing on their studies or sports even though they are constantly battling anxiety. Others will feel so desperate and powerless that will give up and choose to end their lives. Nearly 1 in 6 high school students has seriously considered suicide, and 1 in 12 has attempted it, according to the survey on youth risk behavior published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Can we prevent it? Yes we can! In fact, it’s our duty as parents to understand the issue and act upon it for the sake of our children’s happiness and efficiency!

We are offering a series of events to educate parents about the Bosurgi Syndrome, how to clear it as an adult and how to prevent it in your children. We will keep you updated on the dates of the workshops that we are scheduling in schools and other venues.

Morgan – a story of a super model suffering Adults Emotional Dependency (AED)

Morgan – a story of a super model suffering Adults Emotional Dependency (AED)

From the Mind Shaman – Morgan is only twenty-nine years old.  Born in San Diego, California, from hippie parents living in a commune, drugs, nudity, and free sex were around her throughout her childhood. She saw her parents having sex in between them and with many others from as far back as she can remember. She tried marijuana before talking, and she was initiated to sex herself when she was nine. Her life was fun though; she learned surfing when she was a toddler, and she lived always out and about with sheep and chickens surrounded by a lot of dancing and music. She grew up like a wild creature, everything was allowed, as long as it would not hurt others or nature. But certainly, she didn’t receive any structure, direction, or leadership.

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The many identities of an actor

The many identities of an actor

From the book The mind Shaman

Born and raised in Orange County, his parents were very proper middle-class people, rich enough to own a nice house with a pool and nice cars. They supported him in their own way throughout his life and they still are. It would have been a perfectly normal life if Danny didn’t have an older brother that made his childhood miserable, making him feel ugly, dirty, sloppy, and incapable. From his earliest memories, his brother constantly bashed him with the meanest comments and bossed him around, using him like his personal slave.

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Luca’s story

Luca’s story

I have been fortunate to be born into a proper, old and wealthy family, but despite this, the first part of my life has been full of ups and downs and defined by countless struggles and a continued urge to fully understand the mind.

I’m from a Sicilian family that is over twelve centuries old. My grandfather invented the method to concentrate orange juice in 1900 and established himself as one of the first Italian industrialists. His invention created the ability to transport orange and lemon juice, greatly boosting the Southern Italian economy. After my grandfather’s death, his grandmother took over and established the Sicilian and Calabria Orange Juice Industry in many international markets and built an empire. She created many charities with the opening of numerous hospitals, schools, and orphanages. My grandmother was deeply loved by many, and more than thirty thousand people attended her funeral.

My grandmother was as influential in business as she was connected to God, and she gave me a precious gift. One of her good friends was a powerful medium able to channel a High Master, who became my spiritual teacher and life coach from the age of eight through the age of twenty-eight. I received thousands spiritual and practical lectures about life, spirituality, and purpose. With a perfectly essential dialogue, the channeled teacher educated me step by step, offering precise spiritual teachings, and responded to questions with clarity and exhaustive answers about philosophies, religions, and theories of life. This precious knowledge is the foundation of much of my current thinking, activities, and work.

During the first few channeled sessions, I remember my doubts about the channeled stories that sounded odd to me as a kid, even though I was mature and open-minded for my age. The medium was a lovely woman, fun and very opinionated in her theories and language, but as soon she was entered into the medianic trance and the Teacher was taking over, her language was transformed into the most accurate Italian that I ever heard; not one single word was obsolete, and every expression was concise and precise to the limit. My doubts dissolved eight days after my grandmother’s death, when I heard my grandmother’s voice through the medium asking me about things that only she and I knew. This convinced me, and I surrendered—capitalizing as much as I could on that priceless gift.

I spent the first twenty years of my life in a large house in Messina Sicily with my brother Pepy and a bunch of domestics. My half-sister Adriana came several years later. My mother left when I was six months old, and my beloved father traveled the world for business and was rarely home. After a series of mean nannies, from the age of ten, we grew up on our own. Then, our financial situation changed dramatically. The American and Spanish orange juice market became mature and so aggressive that it strangled the business. This, combined with unfortunate speculations, pushed my family into sudden bankruptcy. It was a difficult time. With the intent of salvaging some of the family’s assets, my father and uncle were obliged to travel the world. At twenty-three years old, I was left alone to single-handedly rescue our family’s main company in Sicily. This was a big operation that fed fifteen hundred workers and over twenty-five thousand farmers and their families. I was young and inexperienced, and the local environment was not helpful. It took three years, but I succeeded to find a solution to save the jobs. We lost everything, and we had to start from scratch, but the understanding I gained by rescuing the company resulted in precious experience and knowledge. A few years later, I started applying my skills to turn troubled companies around.

This allowed me to establish an investment portfolio based in Luxembourg that I managed from London and New York. The portfolio specialized in investments in equities of companies that were in early expansions. This gave me the time and money to travel the world, meet gurus and charlatans, see many real and phony miracles, and search for answers about the mind. I spent most of my life trying to understand the mind, the bundle of software that determines every aspect of our lives, probably to solve my personal issues and to apply the training from my Spiritual Teacher. At a young age, I already realized that I didn’t agree with most of what was written about the mind. At thirty, I had a solid understanding about the behavioral system, the way it is formed and how it works, and had already engineered strategies to repair behavioral mistakes. But when I tried to use these models in order to help people struggling with their minds, it didn’t work. I found this rather frustrating.

One of the people I tried to help was anorexic. I didn’t succeed, but someone else did. In just a couple of sessions, the woman was back eating and free from her illness. The guy who helped her was a clinical hypnotherapist called Michael Joseph, with a practice next to Piccadilly in London. I was intrigued and asked him to teach me. Michael agreed, and we booked a one-on-one course that lasted six months. I learned everything I could learn about clinical hypnotherapy. Michael was an excellent and well-respected teacher; today he is the president of the clinical hypnotherapists in the UK, and two universities accredit his school. When I started practicing clinical hypnotherapy, I realized the power and the adaptability of hypnosis for different uses and situations. I tried to apply it to my mind-healing model, and it worked beautifully. It was in 1990 when I started successfully using the therapy I created and named CognitiveOS Hypnosis.

For many years, I carried on with my investment firm and, at same time, helped people in trouble with CognitiveOS Hypnosis. It felt great; I had created a methodology that really worked. I didn’t have much time to practice, but each healing became faster, totally effective, and permanent. Clients started to send friends and family, and I found myself in the position of having to deny help to many people because of the commitment required by my investment portfolio. I loved Venture Capital. I learned enormously from it, as every day I was dealing with new inventions, great minds, and new challenges.

Eight years ago, I felt the call from my old Teacher and decided to change everything. I felt that I had a healing methodology able to change people’s lives, and it was wrong to deny this to many because of my financial commitments. I sold my operation and became a therapist at service to people in need. It felt strange and very different at first, but then it became a wonderful mission that I enjoy immensely every single day.

I suffered most of my life from my mother’s abandonment and this was reflected in all of my relationships. I felt that I was unable to properly love. I helped so many others solve this issue but couldn’t clear my own. In my constant search for new solutions, I met Sarah Eaglewoman, an Apache medicine woman. She was extraordinarily good, and she worked my energies with so much power that I found myself, for the first time, in a deep state of hypnosis. In this state, I used my techniques to clear the abandonment issue, and it worked. I was finally free. About three months later, she asked me to attend her sacred space for a private ceremony. The purpose of it was to restore in me the power of a medicine man, a Native American shaman, as it seems I was in past lives. I didn’t know what to expect. I was curious but also suspicious. I always received special treatment from gurus and spiritual healers because of my personality and wealth; so I feared the same here. But this seemed to be a direct request from her spiritual guides.

She and I celebrated the ceremony in her sacred healing space. It was a clear day in the month of May around five o’clock. As soon she called the Higher Spirits, the sky opened in a violent storm, with hail, powerful lightning, and thunder. It lasted just a few minutes, and then the sky returned like by magic to its initial intense blue. I came out of the experience feeling stoned but rather normal; I didn’t really appreciate the changes until that night when I experienced a new type of vivid dream, colored like old films and packed with precious information provided by my old Teacher. I woke up ecstatic; the Teacher that trained me in the first part of my life was back through a different channel. I discovered another surprising outcome the day after when I started working. As soon as I brought the first client into deep relaxation, I realized that the priestess opened clairvoyance for me. I was suddenly able to see auras, animal spirits, spirit guides, spiritual purposes, and so on. Despite all the spiritual teachings, I have always been pragmatic and doubted clairvoyance, and the gift was unexpected but rewarding.

A few days later, I met my wife, Nadine, a wonderful and powerful being who has been my partner since we met, the woman I love unconditionally. We have two young children and our relationship is strong, clear, and equal; we walk together, moving forward, bound by a great partnership based on respect, trust, and love.

 

From the book The Mind Shaman.

The Genius Lab of the Mind talk show – March 24th – Third Street Theater

The Genius Lab of the Mind talk show – March 24th – Third Street Theater

http://bosurgi.wordpress.com/talk-show-with-luca-his-team/

The Genius Lab of the Mind – an interactive talk show about the mind hosted by Luca Bosurgi and his team.

Dates: March 26th 2014, 7:00pm – 9:00pm
Venue: Third Street Theater, 8115 W 3rd St, Los Angeles CA-90048
Suggested donation: $ 10 – No one turned away for lack of funds “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” Buckminster Fuller

Your mind generates your joy and excitement as well as your anxiety, fears, lack of purpose, addictions, painful relationships, depression, etc. Thus the key to resolve these issues sits inside your mind.  The purpose of the Genius Lab is to help you to explore your personal mind’s struggles and to give you tools to fix it. The interactive conversation will be focused on your questions and on a few of your personal cases assessed by Luca Bosurgi and his team.

 Up to now the mind has been considered as a mysterious black box. We want to explain how the mind works, the purpose of anxiety, the value of codependency and the cause of addictions. Mastering the organization of your mind will create a shift in the way you approach life, relate to people and feel about yourself.

 During this interactive conversation we are going to demonstrate to you how your daily crippling issues are connected to incorrect choices made by your mind, and how you can change it.  We want you to tell us your story so we can present it to you from the perspective of your mind – the way nature works to keep you efficient and safe. We will identify where your mind was misled and explore the solutions to fix it.

Live music by James Hood featuring ‘ CEREMONY’ jameshood.com

 
A personal story

A personal story

competition

Hello,

My name is David. I am a CognitiveOS Hypnotherapist. I am happy to be able to write this story about how I came to appreciate life and everything about it. It hasn’t been easy and it took me quite a bit of turmoil and suffering, but I did it. I’m looking at all of my experiences now with a deep sense of gratitude. I was able to learn so much and arrive to this place of happiness. It is so liberating to be able to say that I love life and believe it. I never thought that I would ever feel this way. I have been on such an amazing journey to discover this that I would like to share with you my personal story about my past struggles and my solid resolution to them. Perhaps as you read you can identify with some of these struggles and, if you do, I can tell you with a deeply true heart that you can find healing and empowerment the way I did, through CognitiveOS Hypnosis. I believe in this so much that I have left my previous life behind to become a CognitiveOS Hypnotherapist.

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Feeling powerless ‘makes tasks more physically challenging’

Feeling powerless ‘makes tasks more physically challenging’

Another scientific testimonial that feeling powerless and not good enough makes things seem more difficult than they really are. Thus instead of acting people fall into procrastination and depression.

by Honor Whiteman

Do you ever have days when the simplest task can feel physically challenging? It could be down to your social and personal sense of power. New research suggests that people who feel personally and socially powerless see the world in a different light and perceive tasks to be more physically demanding, compared with individuals who have a strong sense of power.

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I deserve to be loved, why can’t I find it?

I deserve to be loved, why can’t I find it?

It’s Sunday and you are out in the park jogging or walking your dog, through your sunglasses you see a couple passing by, they are holding hands, smiling and having a chat, they seem to be peacefully happy and in love.  You notice those couples on the way home from work, in coffee shops, supermarkets, etc. Your imagination completes the image by picturing them in their cozy house, sitting on the couch, hugging and reading a book. And every time the same questions pop up in your mind: why am I not like this?

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