Month: March 2014

We may be the cause of our children’s anxiety, fears and depression in their adult life

We may be the cause of our children’s anxiety, fears and depression in their adult life

It’s a scary statement but unfortunately corresponds to an indisputable reality. Our mind set as well as our parenting skills will either determine happiness and efficiency in our children’s adult life, or make them miserable.

In the first 12 years of their life, our children depend entirely on us. We mold their minds by demonstrating our leadership, love, safety, validation and guidance. They also unconsciously mirror all of our behaviors, success or fears, our approach to relationships and our attitude to life. They build their life’s models accordingly.

I have been researching new models of the mind for over twenty years, and found solutions that have helped hundreds of clients to gain happiness and efficiency in their life. But only recently have I been able to isolate the real cause of most modern psychological issues. I discovered a disorder originated by poor parenting that affects possibly half of the American population, if not more.

This is a condition that I call the Bosurgi Syndrome, which describes the devastating effects of overextended codependency in adult life. Fear of rejection, fear of judgment and abandonment, lack of self-confidence, anger, social anxiety, lack of identity and purpose, neediness or numbness in relationships, feeling like a fraud or a kid trapped in adult mind and body are just some of the devastating symptoms caused by the Bosurgi Syndrome.
Codependency is typically described as an excessive dependency to parents, partners or friends, but my research revealed this behavior to be a byproduct of the real issue.

Codependency is in fact, a healthy instinct provided by nature to every child at birth. It is built into children’s behavioral system to keep them safe and allow their parents to educate them in the first 12 years of life. It operates at the emotional level to maintain children’s dependence and need of leadership, love, safety, validation and guidance during their first vulnerable period of existence.

Since a young child is unable to navigate the world, this natural codependent instinct keeps our children close to home. If they get too far away from their parents or their teachers (which act as substitute parents) children get anxious and nervous. This instinct also keeps children in the learning mode. They soak up information like sponges.

If proper parenting is provided, based on fair leadership, unconditional love, a safe emotional and physical environment, lots of validation and precise guidance, the young adult will learn a proper model of self-leadership and the instinct of codependency will terminate at puberty. The young adult will then successfully use the teenager period to learn how to be a man or a woman, in order to gain a powerful life clear from anxiety, fears and depression.

If instead, we don’t provide our children with proper models of leadership, because we are in codependency ourselves or unable to take care of them or just not aware of the gravity of this issue, our kids will not know how to lead themselves in the process of becoming adults. This lack of self-leadership will actively maintain the instinct of codependency after puberty, with the consequence that the young adult will enter into the teenager period still held by the juvenile emotional ties of codependency.

The result will be that throughout the teenage period, there will be progressively severe issues of anxiety and fears, feeling of being an outsider and self-consciousness with their peers. It will cause social anxiety or a pleaser attitude with the intent of trying to belong, in some case eating disorders, and in others, anger and rebellion.

Some teenagers will try to cope with numbing substances such as drugs or alcohol, some will isolate themselves in safe environments like video games or excessive computer use, some will carry on with their lives focusing on their studies or sports even though they are constantly battling anxiety. Others will feel so desperate and powerless that will give up and choose to end their lives. Nearly 1 in 6 high school students has seriously considered suicide, and 1 in 12 has attempted it, according to the survey on youth risk behavior published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Can we prevent it? Yes we can! In fact, it’s our duty as parents to understand the issue and act upon it for the sake of our children’s happiness and efficiency!

We are offering a series of events to educate parents about the Bosurgi Syndrome, how to clear it as an adult and how to prevent it in your children. We will keep you updated on the dates of the workshops that we are scheduling in schools and other venues.

Morgan – a story of a super model suffering Adults Emotional Dependency (AED)

Morgan – a story of a super model suffering Adults Emotional Dependency (AED)

From the Mind Shaman – Morgan is only twenty-nine years old.  Born in San Diego, California, from hippie parents living in a commune, drugs, nudity, and free sex were around her throughout her childhood. She saw her parents having sex in between them and with many others from as far back as she can remember. She tried marijuana before talking, and she was initiated to sex herself when she was nine. Her life was fun though; she learned surfing when she was a toddler, and she lived always out and about with sheep and chickens surrounded by a lot of dancing and music. She grew up like a wild creature, everything was allowed, as long as it would not hurt others or nature. But certainly, she didn’t receive any structure, direction, or leadership.

Read More Read More

The many identities of an actor

The many identities of an actor

From the book The mind Shaman

Born and raised in Orange County, his parents were very proper middle-class people, rich enough to own a nice house with a pool and nice cars. They supported him in their own way throughout his life and they still are. It would have been a perfectly normal life if Danny didn’t have an older brother that made his childhood miserable, making him feel ugly, dirty, sloppy, and incapable. From his earliest memories, his brother constantly bashed him with the meanest comments and bossed him around, using him like his personal slave.

Read More Read More

The real cause of PTSD – the Bosurgi Syndrome

The real cause of PTSD – the Bosurgi Syndrome

From the book The Mind Shaman-

“Julie, let’s talk briefly about your case. Richard is a twenty-five-year-old young man who served as a US marine for four years, deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan. He came back to the US in 2011, all in one piece, highly decorated for his bravery in battle, but soon after he returned, he developed what it is commonly called PTSD. In the last two years, he has been highly depressed and twice attempted suicide.

“The actual trend in psychotherapy is to focus their healing on the traumatic memories assumed to be the origin of the disorder. In my opinion, they are focusing on the wrong culprit. The PTSD, in most cases, is caused by the Bosurgi Syndrome, triggered or enhanced by the traumatic events. Millions of people with the Bosurgi Syndrome feel like they are in a mental state comparable to PTSD, but they don’t have an actual trauma to blame.

Read More Read More

Luca’s story

Luca’s story

I have been fortunate to be born into a proper, old and wealthy family, but despite this, the first part of my life has been full of ups and downs and defined by countless struggles and a continued urge to fully understand the mind.

I’m from a Sicilian family that is over twelve centuries old. My grandfather invented the method to concentrate orange juice in 1900 and established himself as one of the first Italian industrialists. His invention created the ability to transport orange and lemon juice, greatly boosting the Southern Italian economy. After my grandfather’s death, his grandmother took over and established the Sicilian and Calabria Orange Juice Industry in many international markets and built an empire. She created many charities with the opening of numerous hospitals, schools, and orphanages. My grandmother was deeply loved by many, and more than thirty thousand people attended her funeral.

My grandmother was as influential in business as she was connected to God, and she gave me a precious gift. One of her good friends was a powerful medium able to channel a High Master, who became my spiritual teacher and life coach from the age of eight through the age of twenty-eight. I received thousands spiritual and practical lectures about life, spirituality, and purpose. With a perfectly essential dialogue, the channeled teacher educated me step by step, offering precise spiritual teachings, and responded to questions with clarity and exhaustive answers about philosophies, religions, and theories of life. This precious knowledge is the foundation of much of my current thinking, activities, and work.

During the first few channeled sessions, I remember my doubts about the channeled stories that sounded odd to me as a kid, even though I was mature and open-minded for my age. The medium was a lovely woman, fun and very opinionated in her theories and language, but as soon she was entered into the medianic trance and the Teacher was taking over, her language was transformed into the most accurate Italian that I ever heard; not one single word was obsolete, and every expression was concise and precise to the limit. My doubts dissolved eight days after my grandmother’s death, when I heard my grandmother’s voice through the medium asking me about things that only she and I knew. This convinced me, and I surrendered—capitalizing as much as I could on that priceless gift.

I spent the first twenty years of my life in a large house in Messina Sicily with my brother Pepy and a bunch of domestics. My half-sister Adriana came several years later. My mother left when I was six months old, and my beloved father traveled the world for business and was rarely home. After a series of mean nannies, from the age of ten, we grew up on our own. Then, our financial situation changed dramatically. The American and Spanish orange juice market became mature and so aggressive that it strangled the business. This, combined with unfortunate speculations, pushed my family into sudden bankruptcy. It was a difficult time. With the intent of salvaging some of the family’s assets, my father and uncle were obliged to travel the world. At twenty-three years old, I was left alone to single-handedly rescue our family’s main company in Sicily. This was a big operation that fed fifteen hundred workers and over twenty-five thousand farmers and their families. I was young and inexperienced, and the local environment was not helpful. It took three years, but I succeeded to find a solution to save the jobs. We lost everything, and we had to start from scratch, but the understanding I gained by rescuing the company resulted in precious experience and knowledge. A few years later, I started applying my skills to turn troubled companies around.

This allowed me to establish an investment portfolio based in Luxembourg that I managed from London and New York. The portfolio specialized in investments in equities of companies that were in early expansions. This gave me the time and money to travel the world, meet gurus and charlatans, see many real and phony miracles, and search for answers about the mind. I spent most of my life trying to understand the mind, the bundle of software that determines every aspect of our lives, probably to solve my personal issues and to apply the training from my Spiritual Teacher. At a young age, I already realized that I didn’t agree with most of what was written about the mind. At thirty, I had a solid understanding about the behavioral system, the way it is formed and how it works, and had already engineered strategies to repair behavioral mistakes. But when I tried to use these models in order to help people struggling with their minds, it didn’t work. I found this rather frustrating.

One of the people I tried to help was anorexic. I didn’t succeed, but someone else did. In just a couple of sessions, the woman was back eating and free from her illness. The guy who helped her was a clinical hypnotherapist called Michael Joseph, with a practice next to Piccadilly in London. I was intrigued and asked him to teach me. Michael agreed, and we booked a one-on-one course that lasted six months. I learned everything I could learn about clinical hypnotherapy. Michael was an excellent and well-respected teacher; today he is the president of the clinical hypnotherapists in the UK, and two universities accredit his school. When I started practicing clinical hypnotherapy, I realized the power and the adaptability of hypnosis for different uses and situations. I tried to apply it to my mind-healing model, and it worked beautifully. It was in 1990 when I started successfully using the therapy I created and named CognitiveOS Hypnosis.

For many years, I carried on with my investment firm and, at same time, helped people in trouble with CognitiveOS Hypnosis. It felt great; I had created a methodology that really worked. I didn’t have much time to practice, but each healing became faster, totally effective, and permanent. Clients started to send friends and family, and I found myself in the position of having to deny help to many people because of the commitment required by my investment portfolio. I loved Venture Capital. I learned enormously from it, as every day I was dealing with new inventions, great minds, and new challenges.

Eight years ago, I felt the call from my old Teacher and decided to change everything. I felt that I had a healing methodology able to change people’s lives, and it was wrong to deny this to many because of my financial commitments. I sold my operation and became a therapist at service to people in need. It felt strange and very different at first, but then it became a wonderful mission that I enjoy immensely every single day.

I suffered most of my life from my mother’s abandonment and this was reflected in all of my relationships. I felt that I was unable to properly love. I helped so many others solve this issue but couldn’t clear my own. In my constant search for new solutions, I met Sarah Eaglewoman, an Apache medicine woman. She was extraordinarily good, and she worked my energies with so much power that I found myself, for the first time, in a deep state of hypnosis. In this state, I used my techniques to clear the abandonment issue, and it worked. I was finally free. About three months later, she asked me to attend her sacred space for a private ceremony. The purpose of it was to restore in me the power of a medicine man, a Native American shaman, as it seems I was in past lives. I didn’t know what to expect. I was curious but also suspicious. I always received special treatment from gurus and spiritual healers because of my personality and wealth; so I feared the same here. But this seemed to be a direct request from her spiritual guides.

She and I celebrated the ceremony in her sacred healing space. It was a clear day in the month of May around five o’clock. As soon she called the Higher Spirits, the sky opened in a violent storm, with hail, powerful lightning, and thunder. It lasted just a few minutes, and then the sky returned like by magic to its initial intense blue. I came out of the experience feeling stoned but rather normal; I didn’t really appreciate the changes until that night when I experienced a new type of vivid dream, colored like old films and packed with precious information provided by my old Teacher. I woke up ecstatic; the Teacher that trained me in the first part of my life was back through a different channel. I discovered another surprising outcome the day after when I started working. As soon as I brought the first client into deep relaxation, I realized that the priestess opened clairvoyance for me. I was suddenly able to see auras, animal spirits, spirit guides, spiritual purposes, and so on. Despite all the spiritual teachings, I have always been pragmatic and doubted clairvoyance, and the gift was unexpected but rewarding.

A few days later, I met my wife, Nadine, a wonderful and powerful being who has been my partner since we met, the woman I love unconditionally. We have two young children and our relationship is strong, clear, and equal; we walk together, moving forward, bound by a great partnership based on respect, trust, and love.

 

From the book The Mind Shaman.

The Behavioral System

The Behavioral System

From the book The Mind Shaman

“The area of the mind that I specialize in is the behavioral system. This consists of a mass of behaviors structured to provide us with the safest and most efficient life. The only job of the behavioral side of the mind is to keep us safe and make us as effective as possible. I slightly resent the psychological theory that speculates that part of the mind acts as our enemy and needs to be fought and suppressed in order for us to achieve happiness. Again, in my opinion, this is just wrong and really unjust. The mind is our best friend and our powerful protector. If our mind does not work properly, it’s only because it is confused and uses its resources to protect us when it is really not required. I’ll explain this in a moment.

Read More Read More

The Survival System

The Survival System

From the book The Mind Shaman

“The survival system is one of the most powerful and complex software applications of our mind. It has the task of protecting us from every possible physical and emotional risk and damage. Its actions are considered priority in the behavioral system since our life may depend on it. How does it work? It is database driven and uses a pre-compiled list of threats to spot and prevent danger.”

“Let me expand on this: from the time that we are in our mother’s tummy, our survival system collects a list of items that are considered dangerous. These may be all sorts of things like thoughts, feelings, emotions, people, animals, objects, sites, or some combination of those. Everything that may represent a threat is listed in it. I call this list the ‘database of the unsafe.’ This list is being constantly compared (24/7) with all of the data that we receive from our senses and our thoughts and covers every physical and emotional aspect of our daily life. If a match is identified, our survival system will believe that we are in danger and initiate a survival protocol.”

“Imagine seeing a tiger approaching. Your survival system will immediately associate the beast with danger and will start providing you a series of instinctive reactions to promote your safety.”

“Let’s carry on with our explanation. When the mind receives the warning of a possible threat, it will instruct the brain to evaluate the danger, and if it’s identified as a real threat, it initiates a ‘fight or flight’ strategy. This needs to be fast, and it’s done with top priority over all the other behaviors since it may save your life. Therefore, as soon as the defense protocol kicks in, the brain releases cortisol which is the fight-or-flight hormone, and also releases a warning to advise you of the danger. According to the level of hazard, this warning will create in you either a feeling of danger, anxiety, fear, or panic. In the rare case that we are confronted by real danger, this is lifesaving. If, instead, it is constantly triggered by false threats obliging the brain to overwork and constantly release cortisol and warnings, it becomes crippling.”

“According to my research, depression is the consequence of an overworked brain due to an overloaded survival system constantly reacting to false threats. Imagine that your brain has a CPU like a computer, which, like your Mac, is limited in its processing capability. Our brain is powerful and certainly oversized for our daily tasks, but imagine the overwork that it has to do if it’s forced to cipher through thousands of survival warnings on top off its current daily load. Like a computer that is processing too much data, the brain would have to slow down or crash. In order to avoid this, it’s obliged to make a choice between the survival requests and the daily tasks. Naturally, it prioritizes the first since survival is paramount to our existence, and it delays all the rest. This will reduce the processing time devoted to all the daily current activities to the extent that you will feel overwhelmed, confused, tired, compelled to procrastinate everything that is not essential, or, worse, it will make you depressed.”

“But what are these false threats? These are items in the ‘database of the unsafe’ erroneously listed as danger—typically the results of unconscious decisions made at a young age when we didn’t have the required experience or tools to properly assess our experiences. Or they may be correct assessments of threats that are now obsolete such as threats that were only dangerous in the first part of our life. I’ll give you a couple of examples of false threats: You are a young child and your mother constantly warns you to be careful around people because they can be dangerous. You may falsely associate people as threats, and every time that you are around people you will feel unsafe. Or you felt very hurt by your dad’s rejection and you may associate rejection as threat and therefore constantly fear rejection.” – The Mind Shaman

The Bosurgi Syndrome

The Bosurgi Syndrome

From the book The Mind Shaman –

“The Bosurgi Syndrome is a condition that describes an overextended codependency. Codependency is a natural stage in human psychological development and occurs in childhood. As part of our survival system, it acts to keep children psychologically dependent upon the parents in order to keep the children safe while they are physically and mentally vulnerable. It also allows children to be receptive to their parents’ tutoring and leadership. In essence, it is a tool offered by nature to our parents to protect, educate, and raise us. It also keeps us close to our parents so that we don’t wander away from home at an early age when we are not equipped to navigate the world.

“The codependency period starts at birth and ideally continues until puberty, around the age of twelve to fourteen. During the codependency period, the developing mind of the child is dependent upon the parents for leadership, security, validation, and guidance. Ideally, the parents will give the child leadership, unconditional love, validation and precise guidance, and will teach the child how to lead itself so that the child can begin to exit codependency around eight years old. The full transition to complete self-leadership should occur around puberty. Correct termination of the codependency period allows the young adult to become emotionally independent and equipped to lead and live an efficient and balanced adult life.

“The codependency period is naturally terminated by the mind, when the mind detects that the self-leading learning process has been completed. The mind will not terminate codependency until it is unconsciously confident that sufficient self-leadership is in place. Codependency may remain active in some cases throughout an adult’s entire life.”

“Liam, have you ever asked yourself why puppies are anxious when they are separated from their mother? The answer is at the base of my discovery. All mammals during the first vulnerable and inexperienced period of life are forced by nature to seek the protection of adults, typically their mother or both parents. This is a natural instinct that makes the puppy feel unsafe and anxious if it is unprotected—it is called codependency. Codependency is a healthy temporary instinct, part of the survival system, which disappears automatically when the puppy becomes a self-sufficient adult dog, able to be independent and protect itself.

“In the human, the codependency is much more sophisticated. It is active during our first twelve years of life with a variety of restrictive feelings. It makes us dependent on our parents because it is unsafe to be out in the world on our own. It makes us feel anxious and insecure if we are left unprotected. We look up to adults, and we seek their guidance and leadership. We need a lot of love and validation. So we act in ways to please grown-ups. We resent it if we are unguided, and we feel unlovable and not good enough if we are rejected. This instinct is supposed to weaken around seven or eight years old when we start developing our own reasoning process and it should terminate at puberty.

“During these first twelve years, nature has entrusted our lives to our parents. They are our protectors, tutors, guides, and source of love and validation. We depend on them to do their job. We deserve to receive their leadership, to constantly feel safe and to get unconditional and unlimited love, validation, and guidance.

“Unfortunately, many parents are unable or just unqualified to offer proper parenting to their children. The consciousness revolution of the sixties has dramatically transformed our society, making this task much more challenging than ever before. The result is that many kids grow up without the fulfillment of their basic emotional needs and without a good leadership model that can be replicated in the process of becoming adults. The consequence of this is that many young adults are reaching puberty without the leadership tools required to take charge over their own mind, which has been dependent upon their parents since birth.

“So at the time that they are supposed to become independent, they don’t have the self-leadership tools to do it. Their mind consequently doesn’t feel self-lead, and it makes the decision that it is unsafe to give up codependency. It holds onto it. The consequences are devastating. People grow in age, size and experience but the codependency is still active making them feel like a ten-year-old kid unsafe if unprotected, and always in search of external leadership, love, validation and guidance. Remember that codependency is the software program that is supposed to get you safely from age zero to twelve. If the program does not terminate, the body grows, but the mind keeps running assumptions that you are still a child.

“Imagine a ten-year-old girl looking like a thirty-year-old woman that is living an adult life. She feels inadequate, like a child in an adult world, terribly anxious because no one is protecting her, and tries to please other adults to get some love and validation, constantly facing the fear of been rejected, judged, or abandoned. She may also be angry and resentful because she is not receiving the care that she deserves. Sound familiar, Liam? This is the condition described by the Bosurgi Syndrome.”

“The Bosurgi Syndrome is an unnatural human condition that is the result of lack of self-leadership. Our mind is always seeking efficiency and likes to stay abreast with nature. So with enough discipline and education, people affected by the syndrome can establish the self-leadership required to beat the condition. It will take time, but it is certainly possible. Liam, if you want to help your friends affected by the Bosurgi Syndrome, teach them some of the lessons that you will receive during the next sessions. You will be surprised to see that several of them will get it and come out from the Bosurgi Syndrome as if by magic.”

“My school is progressing fast, and I hope that in a few years we will be able to open centers throughout the world. In view of the magnitude of the problem, this is just a drop of water in the ocean. My hope is that the leading schools of psychology will acknowledge the existence of the Bosurgi Syndrome as one of the main psychological issues of this era. This will focus the psychological research to explore my methodology as demonstrated on a large number of cases and provide the clinical statistical work, the rate of success, and the permanent results required to demonstrate the validity of the therapy. For this purpose, I can offer clinical researchers hundreds of clients that have seen major permanent changes in their lives because of CognitiveOS Hypnosis. Unfortunately, the scientific community’s validation process will be very slow and terribly argued, but I hope that one day the medical community will eventually realize the gravity of the problem and start thinking about the available solutions. We have, with CognitiveOS Hypnosis, a very effective method that could offer many licensed professionals a new set of tools to be able to beat the plague of codependency.

“I also hope that more mind researchers, after having embraced the concept of the Bosurgi Syndrome, will find other methodologies able to deal with codependency permanently. Of course, prevention will be the real solution. The Bosurgi Syndrome can be avoided altogether with careful parenting and education. This should become one of our government’s major efforts. It can also be easily treated as soon it manifests itself during the initial stages of the teenage period. I have great success with teens. They are fast and wonderful to heal. My hope is that we will see teams of psychologists helping teenagers to come off codependency.” – The Mind Shaman

A case of Bosurgi Syndrome explored

A case of Bosurgi Syndrome explored

From the book The Mind Shaman –

“Let’s redefine the issue in order to identify the steps required to clear it. Nineteen years ago, baby Liam was born. His mind was equipped by nature with a temporary instinct called codependency. This instinct had the task of protecting Liam during his period of physical vulnerability and allowed his parents to raise and educate him. To limit Liam’s freedom and make him dependent on his parents, codependency restricted Liam’s mind with tools such as lack of self-confidence, anxiety if unprotected, search for external leadership and validation, etc. This is a totally natural process that requires a precise parental response in order to provide the expected results. It is supposed to disappear at puberty, when it is no longer needed.

Read More Read More

The Bosurgi Syndrome, one of the main psychological issues of this era.

The Bosurgi Syndrome, one of the main psychological issues of this era.

From the book The Mind Shaman –

“My school is progressing fast, and I hope that in a few years we will be able to open centers throughout the world. In view of the magnitude of the problem, this is just a drop of water in the ocean. My hope is that the leading schools of psychology will acknowledge the existence of the Bosurgi Syndrome as one of the main psychological issues of this era. This will focus the psychological research to explore my methodology as demonstrated on a large number of cases and provide the clinical statistical work, the rate of success, and the permanent results required to demonstrate the validity of the therapy. For this purpose, I can offer clinical researchers hundreds of clients that have seen major permanent changes in their lives because of CognitiveOS Hypnosis.

Read More Read More

The purpose of our life on Earth

The purpose of our life on Earth

From the book The Mind Shaman  –

“Let’s talk about the purpose of life on Earth. One day God decided to transform a gloomy kingdom populated by primitive spirits, ignorant and vicious, into his kingdom of Angels. A kingdom lightened by the purest essence of love, populated by Angelic free spirits fully trained, holding universal knowledge and wisdom, the perfect representation of God itself. To make this possible, God created matter, building and organizing a material universe as a learning ground for Angels in training, engineering each galaxy, star, and planet as well as each form of material, time, and life to fulfill specific learning stages and needs.

Read More Read More

The essence of CognitiveOS Hypnosis®

The essence of CognitiveOS Hypnosis®

From the book The Mind Shaman –

“We defined the problem. Now let’s identify the solution. As I explained before, the codependency remains stuck in adults because of the lack of self-leadership. This deficiency is the consequence of a behavioral system built during childhood without enough parental leadership, love, safety, validation, or guidance.

Read More Read More