Tag: parenting

The Eden Magazine September 2017 issue Proudly presenting Luca Bosurgi an Inspirational mind-spirit coach and healer

The Eden Magazine September 2017 issue Proudly presenting Luca Bosurgi an Inspirational mind-spirit coach and healer

The Eden Magazine - Luca bosurgi

The Eden Magazine September 2017 issue

 

The Eden magazine -Luca Bosurgi

Inspirational mind-spirit coach and healer, author and visionary speaker, creator of Mind Fitnes, CognitiveOS Hypnosis and the founder and CEO of the Mind Fitness Lab Corp.

 

The Eden Magazine - Luca Bosurgi

Luca Bosurgi was born in Rome, Italy, to an aristocratic Italian family, the descendants of the Marquis Bosurgi who have a 1,200-year history rich in art, engineering and enterprise. In the early 1890’s, Luca’s grandfather invented concentrated orange juice, and established himself as one of the first Italian Industrialists.

Luca’s history is an eclectic mix of experiences that mesh perfectly with his passion to increase human happiness and self-reliance. At an early age, Luca began receiving extensive spiritual teachings from a channeled holy master. By the time he was becoming an adult, Luca had acquired groundbreaking knowledge about the meaning of life, the spirit-mind hierarchy, the mechanics of the mind and how it relates to mankind’s journey of spiritual evolution.

Luca studied Business & Law at the University Bocconi in Milan. At 23, he was called on to rescue his family company,  Sanderson   & Sons in Messina, Sicily. In three years, Luca saved 1,500 jobs and secured the continued production of approximately 25,000 citrus farmers. This experience launched Luca into his first career, Investment Banking. At 28, Luca established his investment portfolio in Luxemburg with offices in London and New York. His company focused on Portfolio Management, VC Investments and M&A.

In 2005, after more than two decades of sharing his life between  his healing mission and the world of banking, he sold his business and moved to Los Angeles to establish his Mind Fitness™ School and Los Angeles practice. This was the beginning of Luca’s 11-yearlong journey towards perfecting Mind Fitness™, and it has allowed him to enhance and refine his method, improving his success rate from the initial 65% to more than 95% in the last five years. Today, thousands of people have experienced the Mind Fitness™, not only with Luca, but also with the approximately 20 Mind Healers that he has trained.

In 2014, Luca identified Virtual Reality as an effective channel to bring Mind Fitness™ to the public. This motivated him to build a team, and based on the Mind Fitness™ method, develop a Virtual Reality Mind Training solution. The efficacy of using VR as a delivery mechanism for the Mind Fitness™ was tested and proven out in beta testing, showing results that equaled those he obtained in his practice – exceeding 95%.

Additionally, Luca is a Medicine Man (Shaman) empowered with the gift of vision, known by his Native American spiritual name Red Cougar Mountain Spirit. He is also highly trained in ancient combat and martial arts (black belt in judo and karate), and initiated in Western and Easter mind-body disciplines.

Luca consistently seeks effective ways to impart greater balance and healing to those in need. He discovered the power of Clinical Hypnosis in the early 1990’s in London.

He was individually trained by Michael Joseph, Founder and President of the British Society of Clinical Hypnosis and publisher of the European Journal of Clinical Hypnosis. Clinical Hypnosis combined with his comprehensive knowledge of computer and digital science, metaphysics, psychology and ancient mind/spirit healing techniques, became the foundation of Luca’s new form  of psychotherapy and mind training, Mind Fitness™. Luca lives with his wife and three children in Santa Monica, California.

The Eden Magazine - Luca Bosurgi

 

Tell us about Luca Bosurgi?

Hmmm, where do I start? I’m Italian. I was born in Rome from an old Sicilian family. I lived an extraordinary life, jam-packed with the most complex and challenging experiences from which I’m  so deeply grateful.   I traveled the world, lived in many towns, met thousands of amazing people from different cultures, social status and beliefs, and learned from each one of them about   life and human behavior. I received vast spiritual training by a holy master, and great initiations by wonder-   ful teachers. I’ve  been an Investment Banker for over    25 years, and for the last decade I have been, and continue to be, a spiritual and mind fitness coach. My life has been a blessed journey of discovery and understanding of spirituality, integrated with the human nature and behaviors. I’m now based in Santa Monica California, where I see my clients, bring forward my mission, and enjoy my 3 young kids, who are the best teachers I ever had.

 

Tell us about your mission.

I’ve been passionate about the mind and human behaviors from childhood. I always loved observing people, imagining their thoughts and predicting their reactions; it was a fun game and I loved the challenge. Soon it became more than a game. I spent hours analyzing and comparing my own behaviors with the ones of others, trying to link the purpose of life with our desires and needs. A lot of it made  sense  to  me,  but  something was off. I trusted natures work to be perfect, our bod-   ies to be naturally healthy and balanced as well as our minds. But, most of my friends, and a lot of the world around me, were overwhelmed by emotions, battling anxiety, fear and stress, or  addiction  and  depression, and this was dramatically reducing their  performance and happiness. This was odd, and against the law of nature.  Emotions are meant to be at our service, not  our enemies. So, I embraced the challenge to identify   the cause of this widespread emotional disease, and possibly engineer solutions to clear this off so that people can live an easier, more effective, and happier life.

In  the  middle  of  my  thirties,  after  I  had  been  rack-ing my brain for years, I finally discovered the cause of these issues, a condition that I named Adult Emotional Dependency (AED). This is a mental disorder that compels emotional dependency from the people around us, causing a variety of emotional distress. In fact, the true hidden cause of most anxiety and fear is choking our society. Its consequences are so severe that the annual  cost of stress and anxiety in the US alone is estimated    to be $300BN in healthcare and lost productivity. I guess it remained undetected until today because it’s like the elephant in the room, such a common condition that    its symptoms are considered the ‘normal’ consequences  of modern society and are treated with drugs and symptom specific therapies, instead of hitting the root-cause.

This discovery changed my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The awareness that I had a rather easy solution to resolve and prevent such a globally devastating condition took over my life and became my mission. After a few years of dividing my time between my financial business and AED, I sold my company and came to California to dedicate all of my time to developing and testing   a program able to clear the condition and related consequences.

I achieved what I set out to do and as a result, the solution that I identified has already proven successful with over 3,000 clients. The next step is to broadcast this awareness to the world and help people  to  create  all sorts of educational and therapeutically approaches to eradicate Adult Emotional Dependency from our world. This will bring the world to the next evolutional stage where survival is used only in real threatening situations, where drugs and alcohol are used only for recreational purposes, where people can use all their undistracted brainpower to create, succeed, love, and where we can   all join our resources to clean and rebuild our world to be decent and kind.

 

Can you define Adult Emotional Dependency and Self-Reparenting?

In brief, AED is the consequence of a missing emotional development in young adults, where we are meant to self-reparent our bodies and minds into becoming emotionally self-reliant. The lack of self-reparenting shifts our emotional needs from our parents to the world around us, with consequences such as fear of judgment, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, anxiety, stress, addiction, depression, sadness, poor performances, people  ‘pleaser’, procrastination, self-doubt, neediness, social anxiety, poor  confidence,  lacking  an  identity,  loneliness, angerand so many more…

Self-reparenting is the act of self-adoption, where we assume a maternal and paternal role over our mind and body, becoming the sole indispensable provider of our own emotional needs. This transforms dependency to interdependency, needs to choices, and removes all the mental loops and distress related with the need for others as our essential emotional suppliers. You can read more about self-reparenting and AED at www.selfreparenting. org

 

The Eden Magazine - Luca Bosurgi

Do you mean, to take care of our wounded child within?

No! Proudly reparenting our body and mind as our own son or daughter of our actual age. We  don’t have in us    a wounded child, we own a superb life equipment (our mind and body) that requires our leadership and emotional supply.

Let me expand on the theory of self-reparenting. Our   life on Earth is a journey of learning and understanding, often defined as spiritual evolution. To enable us to live on this planet, we receive equipment (our mind and body) purposely built to give us a physical existence and to harvest awareness through experiences.

This equipment is built like a highly sophisticated biological robot, with eyes as cameras, ears as microphones, mouth as speaker, hands as tools, legs as transport system. Our brain acts as the board computer managed by our mind, the software that operates the entire system.

Our equipment has physical and emotional vital needs, these are meant to be satisfied by our parents during childhood. Around puberty we are meant to take charge of these needs, self-reparenting our body and mind. The level of success we achieve in our self-reparenting process is determined by the life-models we learned from our parents.

Though this is Nature’s plan, it frequently fails because our parents and/or guardians have not achieved emotional independence themselves, so they cannot model and teach these essential life skills to their children. Without good parental models of self-leadership and self-reliance we become either unaware or unable to make the vital self-reparenting step. This obliges our starving mind to shift the seeking of our emotional needs from our parents to the people around us. But people are not surrogating parents, bound by parental love, thus are usually unwilling and unable to satisfy our emotional needs. This is felt as rejection and lack of support triggering all the harsh emotional responses presently choking our society.

What is Mind Fitness?

Mind Fitness is the therapeutic program that I engineered with over 25 years of research and that I use with my clients to help them to implement and enhance their natural self-reparenting process and to remove past traumas.

The basic program spans on 12 sessions of spiritual teaching, life coaching & CognitiveOS Hypnosis®. Spiritual teaching helps implement self-reparenting, enhances self- love and self-leadership–this sets the natural spirit-mind’s alignment and instinctively promotes healthier choices. Life coaching helps to embrace more efficient and healthier behaviors – this fast-tracks the path to emotional freedom. CognitiveOS Hypnosis® helps integrate organically these new tools and models in my clients’ daily routine – this boosts their performance and effectiveness in just a few weeks. Each session is 60 minutes long and combines 30 minutes’ of spiritual-mind-life coaching with 30 minutes of CognitiveOS Hypnosis®, the results are fast and life-changing. It’s a flexible method that I offer in person or remotely via phone or Facetime. I embrace each healing journey with a deep sense of respect, love and responsibility, therefore I only  admit  clients that I strongly believe will gain results exceeding their expectations. My best candidates are highly smart people, technical enough, however, open to spirituality and ready to embrace their own emotional needs.

 

In your practice you use Hypnosis, how can this help people?

Hypnosis helps people to enter into the same deep state of meditation used by Buddhist monks in their practice. It  can be used for a variety of purposes. I use hypnosis   to reduce our natural doubts barrier to the new or unproven. This allows the mind to listen and eventually implement new behavioral models. My proprietary form of hypnosis keeps my clients relaxed and aware of their surroundings, while remaining under their own control and able to regain normal consciousness at any time.

 

What does CognitiveOS mean?

CognitiveOS Hypnosis is my proprietary language under hypnosis that I refined with over 30,000 sessions. It’s a communication protocol that the mind understands and responds positively. I believe that our mind is perfect and always strives to provide the best possible service trying to keep us safe and operate efficiently. Therefore, if we establish proper communication with the mind, offering safer and more efficient behavioral models, the mind will evaluate them and it will agree on their value, and will implement them in a very short time.

 

The Eden Magazine - Luca Bosurgi

Who can benefit from Mind Fitness?

We can all benefit from a good physical or mental workout, however the areas where Mind Fitness has demonstrated life changing results are with people suffering from anxiety, stress, PTSD, fear, alcoholism or depression, or with the ones that want to improve confidence, gain high-performance, better their relationships and their quality of life. Gaining control over our mind, allows us to gain control over our life, and this improves every aspect of our existence.

 

What inspired you to write your book “The Mind Shaman?”

I wrote The Mind Shaman as my first intent to bring awareness about self-reparenting to the world. It was written about 4 years ago. The terminology has changed and I progressed extensively in my research and thera-   py from then, but the basic concept of self-reparenting and the vital value that is represented and depicted in   the novel are all taken from a variety of real-life stories. Most of the stories described in the book are real events, experienced by me or my clients, of course the names  and locations are different, but the full content of the book refers to the dramatic transformations that I saw happen in me and my clients when we embraced self- reparenting.

 

Do you practice Shaman sessions?

I was reconnected with my past-life’s shamanic powers about 9 years ago by a powerful Apache Medicine Woman. I don’t  do ceremonies, but every day in my practice,  I connect the world of spirits with the world of matter, helping my clients to embrace the two realities and fuse them in one. In each session, I guide my clients in the Sacred Healing Space  of  the  Montaigne,  where  magic happens, and then inside their own beautiful mind, where more magic occurs.

 

How do you plan to expand your practice in the future?

In fact, I’m planning to reduce my practice to just a few clients and dedicate most of my time to educate our communities about self-reparenting and engineer tools like the Virtual Reality app that can help people worldwide.

 

How is your healing method different than other methods?

 

I guess the main difference is that most healing methods are symptom or behavior driven. Meaning that they focus on alleviating symptoms, or substituting behaviors. My method instead aims to restructure the needs and the priorities  of  the  mind.  This  consequently  removes the negative symptoms and promotes healthier behavioral choice, a much faster and long-lasting solution.

 

How is the “Virtual Reality Method” different from your one-on-one process?

The ‘Mind Fitness & Detox’ Virtual Reality app is a home Mind Fitness that replicates my program. It implements rather successfully the basics of my program promoting self-reparenting. Of course, it’s not tailor-made for specific client’s needs but does the job. `

 

How do you feel about using Prescription Drugs when a person has depression? Is it helpful?

Sure, if you don’t have alternatives, drugs will help you  to cope. But depression is typically not an organic illness, it’s an overload brain because of excess of anxiety and fear. These burn available brainpower into reducing every other brains activities to a crippling stage. To end depression, we just need to end the causes of anxiety and fear.   I saw dozens of clients that had suffered years of depression and end depression in just a couple of weeks. The main problem with drugs, apart from the side effects, is that they are only targeting the symptoms and altering the chemical of the brain, when the root problem is in the mind.

Photography by: Brenda Saint Hilaire Photography

Suit by: Valentino

Location: Mind Fitness, Santa Monica, CA

THEEDENMAGAZINE.COM  September 2017

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Luca Bosurgi answers Quora’s questions about the mind, anxiety, fear, depression, addiction, etc.

Luca Bosurgi answers Quora’s questions about the mind, anxiety, fear, depression, addiction, etc.

How do you eliminate pointless fear / general anxiety without medication?

Luca Bosurgi

Luca Bosurgi, Mind Fitness, Life & Spiritual Coach
The Habits Of Supremely Happy People

The Habits Of Supremely Happy People

Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, theorizes that while 60 percent of happiness is determined by our genetics and environment, the remaining 40 percent is up to us.

Seligman describes three different kinds of happy lives: The pleasant life, in which you fill your life with as many pleasures as you can, the life of engagement, where you find a life in your work, parenting, love and leisure and the meaningful life, which “consists of knowing what your highest strengths are, and using them to belong to and in the service of something larger than you are.”

After exploring what accounts for ultimate satisfaction, Seligman says he was surprised. The pursuit of pleasure, research determined, has hardly any contribution to a lasting fulfillment. Instead, pleasure is “the whipped cream and the cherry” that adds a certain sweetness to satisfactory lives founded by the simultaneous pursuit of meaning and engagement.

And while it might sound like a big feat to tackle great concepts like meaning and engagement (pleasure sounded much more doable), happy people have habits you can introduce into your everyday life that may add to the bigger picture of bliss. Joyful folk have certain inclinations that add to their pursuit of meaning — and motivate them along the way.

They surround themselves with other happy people.
Joy is contagious. Researchers of the Framingham Heart Study who investigated the spread of happiness over 20 years found that those who are surrounded by happy people “ are moe likely to become happy in the future.” This is reason enough to dump the Debbie Downers and spend more time with uplifting people.

They smile when they mean it.

Even if you’re not feeling so chipper, cultivating a happy thought — and then smiling about it — could up your happiness levels and make you more productive, according to a study published in the Academy of Management Journal. It’s important to be genuine with your grin: The study revealed that faking a smile while experiencing negative emotions could actually worsen your mood.

They cultivate resilience.

According to psychologist Peter Kramer, resilience, not happiness, is the opposite of depression: Happy people know how to bounce back from failure. Resilience is like a padding for the inevitable hardship human beings are bound to face. As the Japanese proverb goes, “Fall seven times and stand up eight.”

They try to be happy. 
Yep — it’s as simple as it sounds: just trying to be happy can boost your emotional well-being, according to two studies recently published in The Journal of Positive Psychology. Those who actively tried to feel happier in the studies reported the highest level of positive moods, making a case for thinking yourself happy.

They are mindful of the good.

It’s important to celebrate great, hard-earned accomplishments, but happy people give attention to their smaller victories, too. “When we take time to notice the things that go right — it means we’re getting a lot of little rewards throughout the day,” Susan Weinschenk, Ph.D. told The Huffington Post in May. “That can help with our moods.” And, as Frank Ghinassi, Ph.D. explains, being mindful of the things that do go your way (even something as simple as the barista getting your coffee order right) can make you feel a greater sense of accomplishment throughout the day.

They appreciate simple pleasures.

A meticulously swirled ice cream cone. An boundlessly waggy dog. Happy people take the time to appreciate these easy-to-come-by pleasures. Finding meaning in the little things, and practicing gratitude for all that you do have is associated with a sense of overall gladness.

They devote some of their time to giving.

Even though there are only 24 hours in a day, positive people fill some of that time doing good for others, which in return, does some good for the do-gooders themselves. A long-term research project called Americans’ Changing Lives found a bevy of benefits associated with altruism: “Volunteer work was good for both mental and physical health. People of all ages who volunteered were happier and experienced better physical health and less depression,” reported Peggy Thoits, the leader of one of the studies.

Givers also experience what researchers call “the helper’s high,” a euphoric state experienced by those engaged in charitable acts. “This is probably a literal “high,” similar to a drug-induced high,” writes Christine L. Carter, Ph.D. “The act of making a financial donation triggers the reward center in our brains that is responsible for dopamine-mediated euphoria.”

They let themselves lose track of time. (And sometimes they can’t help it.)

When you’re immersed in an activity that is simultaneously challenging, invigorating and meaningful, you experience a joyful state called “flow.” Happy people seek this sensation of getting “caught up” or “carried away,” which diminishes self-consciousness and promotes the feelings associated with success. As explained by Pursuit-of-happiness.org, “In order for a Flow state to occur, you must see the activity as voluntary, enjoyable (intrinsically motivating), and it must require skill and be challenging (but not too challenging) with clear goals towards success.”

They nix the small talk for deeper conversation.

Nothing wrong with shootin’ the you-know-what every now and then, but sitting down to talk about what makes you tick is a prime practice for feeling good about life. A study published in Psychological Science found that those who take part in more substantive conversation and less trivial chit chat experienced more feelings of satisfaction.

“I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings,” is one of the top five regrets of the dying — a sentiment that hints at the fact that people wish they’d spent less time talking about the weather and more time delving into what it is that makes their heart swell.

They spend money on other people.

Maybe money does buy happiness. A study published in Science found that spending money on other people has a more direct impact on happiness than spending money on oneself.

They make a point to listen.

“When you listen you open up your ability to take in more knowledge versus blocking the world with your words or your distracting thoughts,” writes David Mezzapelle, author of Contagious Optimism. “You are also demonstrating confidence and respect for others. Knowledge and confidence is proof that you are secure and positive with yourself thus radiating positive energy.” Good listening is a skill that strengthens relationships and leads to more satisfying experiences. A good listener may walk away from a conversation feeling as if their presence served a purpose, an experience that is closely connected with increased well-being.

They uphold in-person connections.

It’s quick and convenient to text, FaceTime and tweet at your buddies. But spending the money on a flight to see your favorite person across the country has weight when it comes to your well-being. “There’s a deep need to have a sense of belonging that comes with having personal interactions with friends,” says John Cacioppo, Ph.D., the director of the Center of Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago. Social media, while it keeps us in touch, doesn’t allow us to physically touch, which harvests the warm-and-fuzzies and even decreases feelings of anxiety.

They look on the bright side.
Optimism touts plenty of health benefits, including less stress, a better tolerance for pain and, as HuffPost Healthy Living recently reported, longevity among those with heart disease. When you choose to see the silver lining, you’re also choosing health and happiness.

Seligman summed up perhaps the greatest characteristic of the optimist in one of his most acclaimed books, Learned Optimism:

The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, and are their own fault. The optimists, who are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world, think about misfortune in the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case. The optimists believe defeat is not their fault: Circumstances, bad luck, or other people brought it about. Such people are unfazed by defeat. Confronted by a bad situation, they perceive it as a challenge and try harder.

 They value a good mixtape.

Music is powerful. So powerful, in fact, that it could match up to the anxiety-reducing effects of massage therapy. Over a three month period, researchers from the Group Health Research Institute found that patients who simply listened to music had the same decreased anxiety symptoms as those who got 10 hour-long massages. Choosing the right tunes could be an important factor, however, as a happy or sad song can also affect the way we perceive the world. In one experiment where researchers asked subjects to identify happy or sad faces while listening to music, the participants were more likely to see the faces that matched the “mood” of the music.

They unplug.
Whether by meditating, taking a few deep breaths away from the screen or deliberately disconnecting from electronics, unplugging from our hyper-connected world has proven advantages when it comes to happiness. Talking on your cell could increase your blood pressure and raise your stress levels, while uninterrupted screen time has been linked to depression and fatigue. Technology isn’t going away, but partaking in some kind of a digital detox gives your brain the opportunity to recharge and recover, which — bonus — could increase your resilience.

They get spiritual.

Studies point to a link between religious and spiritual practice and mirth. For one, happiness habits like expressing gratitude, compassion and charity are generally promoted in most spiritual conventions. And, asking the big questions helps to give our lives context and meaning. A 2009 study found that children who felt their lives had a purpose (which was promoted by a spiritual connection) were happier.

Spirituality offers what the 20th-century sociologist Emile Durkheim referred to as “sacred time,” which is a built-in, unplugging ritual that elicits moments of reflection and calm. As Ellen L. Idler, Ph.D., writes in “The Psychological and Physical Benefits of Spiritual/Religious Practics,”:

The experience of sacred time provides a time apart from the “profane time” that we live most of our lives in. A daily period of meditation, a weekly practice of lighting Sabbath candles, or attending worship services, or an annual retreat in an isolated, quiet place of solitude all of these are examples of setting time apart from the rush of our everyday lives. Periods of rest and respite from work and the demands of daily life serve to reduce stress, a fundamental cause of chronic diseases that is still the primary causes of death in Western society. Transcendent spiritual and religious experiences have a positive, healing, restorative effect, especially if they are “built in,” so to speak, to one’s daily, weekly, seasonal, and annual cycles of living

They make exercise a priority.

A wise, albeit fictional Harvard Law School student once said, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.” Exercise has been shown to ease symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress, thanks to the various brain chemicals that are released that amplify feelings of happiness and relaxation. Plus, working out makes us appreciate our bodies more. One study published in the Journal of Health Psychology found that exercise improved how people felt about their bodies — even if they didn’t lose weight or achieve noticeable improvements.

They go outside.

Want to feel alive? Just a 20-minute dose of fresh air promotes a sense of vitality, according to several studies published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology. “Nature is fuel for the soul, ” says Richard Ryan, Ph.D., the lead author of the studies. “Often when we feel depleted we reach for a cup of coffee, but research suggests a better way to get energized is to connect with nature.” And while most of us like our coffee hot, we may prefer our serving of the great outdoors at a more lukewarm temperature: A study on weather and individual happiness unveiled 57 degrees to be the optimal temperature for optimal happiness.

They spend some time on the pillow.

Waking up on the wrong side of the bed isn’t just a myth. When you’re running low on zzs, you’re prone to experience lack of clarity, bad moods and poor judgment. “A good night’s sleep can really help a moody person decrease their anxiety,” Dr. Raymonde Jean, director of sleep medicine and associate director of critical care at St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital Center told Health.com. “You get more emotional stability with good sleep.”

They LOL.

You’ve heard it before: Laughter is the best medicine. In the case of The Blues, this may hold some truth. A good, old-fashioned chuckle releases happy brain chemicals that, other than providing the exuberant buzz we seek, make humans better equipped to tolerate both pain and stress.

And you might be able to get away with counting a joke-swapping session as a workout (maybe). “The body’s response to repetitive laughter is similar to the effect of repetitive exercise,” explained Dr. Lee Berk, the lead researcher of a 2010 study focused on laughter’s effects on the body. The same study found that some of the benefits associated with working out, like a healthy immune system, controlled appetite and improved cholesterol can also be achieved through laughter.

They walk the walk.
Ever notice your joyful friends have a certain spring in the step? It’s all about the stride, according to research conducted by Sara Snodgrass, a psychologist from Florida Atlantic University.

In the experiment, Snodgrass asked participants to take a three-minute walk. Half of the walkers were told to take long strides while swinging their arms and holding their heads high. These walkers reported feeling happier after the stroll than the other group, who took short, shuffled steps as they watched their feet.

The Huffington Post  |  By Kate Bratskeir Posted: 09/16/2013 8:35 am EDT

For parents, happiness is a very high bar – Jennifer Senior: Ted Talk

For parents, happiness is a very high bar – Jennifer Senior: Ted Talk

[ted id=1974]

The parenting section of the bookstore is overwhelming—it’s “a giant, candy-colored monument to our collective panic,” as writer Jennifer Senior puts it. Why is parenthood filled with so much anxiety? Because the goal of modern, middle-class parents—to raise happy children—is so elusive. In this honest talk, she offers some kinder and more achievable aims.

A brain can be damaged; a mind can’t.

A brain can be damaged; a mind can’t.

From the book the Mind Shaman-

“The behavioral system is a well-structured mass of behaviors that works silently in the background of your unconscious mind providing you with the safest and the most efficient life. It is like a bundle of software built throughout your life that can be entirely updated, modified, or reset from the initial part, created around eight weeks of existence and continuing each moment. Some people believe that poor parenting, childhood, or life’s traumas can permanently damage the unconscious mind. In my opinion, this is not true. A brain can be damaged; a mind can’t. I’ve proved with my work that a behavioral system can be troubled or confused but not damaged, and it can always be repaired.”

We may be the cause of our children’s anxiety, fears and depression in their adult life

We may be the cause of our children’s anxiety, fears and depression in their adult life

It’s a scary statement but unfortunately corresponds to an indisputable reality. Our mind set as well as our parenting skills will either determine happiness and efficiency in our children’s adult life, or make them miserable.

In the first 12 years of their life, our children depend entirely on us. We mold their minds by demonstrating our leadership, love, safety, validation and guidance. They also unconsciously mirror all of our behaviors, success or fears, our approach to relationships and our attitude to life. They build their life’s models accordingly.

I have been researching new models of the mind for over twenty years, and found solutions that have helped hundreds of clients to gain happiness and efficiency in their life. But only recently have I been able to isolate the real cause of most modern psychological issues. I discovered a disorder originated by poor parenting that affects possibly half of the American population, if not more.

This is a condition that I call the Bosurgi Syndrome, which describes the devastating effects of overextended codependency in adult life. Fear of rejection, fear of judgment and abandonment, lack of self-confidence, anger, social anxiety, lack of identity and purpose, neediness or numbness in relationships, feeling like a fraud or a kid trapped in adult mind and body are just some of the devastating symptoms caused by the Bosurgi Syndrome.
Codependency is typically described as an excessive dependency to parents, partners or friends, but my research revealed this behavior to be a byproduct of the real issue.

Codependency is in fact, a healthy instinct provided by nature to every child at birth. It is built into children’s behavioral system to keep them safe and allow their parents to educate them in the first 12 years of life. It operates at the emotional level to maintain children’s dependence and need of leadership, love, safety, validation and guidance during their first vulnerable period of existence.

Since a young child is unable to navigate the world, this natural codependent instinct keeps our children close to home. If they get too far away from their parents or their teachers (which act as substitute parents) children get anxious and nervous. This instinct also keeps children in the learning mode. They soak up information like sponges.

If proper parenting is provided, based on fair leadership, unconditional love, a safe emotional and physical environment, lots of validation and precise guidance, the young adult will learn a proper model of self-leadership and the instinct of codependency will terminate at puberty. The young adult will then successfully use the teenager period to learn how to be a man or a woman, in order to gain a powerful life clear from anxiety, fears and depression.

If instead, we don’t provide our children with proper models of leadership, because we are in codependency ourselves or unable to take care of them or just not aware of the gravity of this issue, our kids will not know how to lead themselves in the process of becoming adults. This lack of self-leadership will actively maintain the instinct of codependency after puberty, with the consequence that the young adult will enter into the teenager period still held by the juvenile emotional ties of codependency.

The result will be that throughout the teenage period, there will be progressively severe issues of anxiety and fears, feeling of being an outsider and self-consciousness with their peers. It will cause social anxiety or a pleaser attitude with the intent of trying to belong, in some case eating disorders, and in others, anger and rebellion.

Some teenagers will try to cope with numbing substances such as drugs or alcohol, some will isolate themselves in safe environments like video games or excessive computer use, some will carry on with their lives focusing on their studies or sports even though they are constantly battling anxiety. Others will feel so desperate and powerless that will give up and choose to end their lives. Nearly 1 in 6 high school students has seriously considered suicide, and 1 in 12 has attempted it, according to the survey on youth risk behavior published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Can we prevent it? Yes we can! In fact, it’s our duty as parents to understand the issue and act upon it for the sake of our children’s happiness and efficiency!

We are offering a series of events to educate parents about the Bosurgi Syndrome, how to clear it as an adult and how to prevent it in your children. We will keep you updated on the dates of the workshops that we are scheduling in schools and other venues.

The Bosurgi Syndrome

The Bosurgi Syndrome

From the book The Mind Shaman –

“The Bosurgi Syndrome is a condition that describes an overextended codependency. Codependency is a natural stage in human psychological development and occurs in childhood. As part of our survival system, it acts to keep children psychologically dependent upon the parents in order to keep the children safe while they are physically and mentally vulnerable. It also allows children to be receptive to their parents’ tutoring and leadership. In essence, it is a tool offered by nature to our parents to protect, educate, and raise us. It also keeps us close to our parents so that we don’t wander away from home at an early age when we are not equipped to navigate the world.

“The codependency period starts at birth and ideally continues until puberty, around the age of twelve to fourteen. During the codependency period, the developing mind of the child is dependent upon the parents for leadership, security, validation, and guidance. Ideally, the parents will give the child leadership, unconditional love, validation and precise guidance, and will teach the child how to lead itself so that the child can begin to exit codependency around eight years old. The full transition to complete self-leadership should occur around puberty. Correct termination of the codependency period allows the young adult to become emotionally independent and equipped to lead and live an efficient and balanced adult life.

“The codependency period is naturally terminated by the mind, when the mind detects that the self-leading learning process has been completed. The mind will not terminate codependency until it is unconsciously confident that sufficient self-leadership is in place. Codependency may remain active in some cases throughout an adult’s entire life.”

“Liam, have you ever asked yourself why puppies are anxious when they are separated from their mother? The answer is at the base of my discovery. All mammals during the first vulnerable and inexperienced period of life are forced by nature to seek the protection of adults, typically their mother or both parents. This is a natural instinct that makes the puppy feel unsafe and anxious if it is unprotected—it is called codependency. Codependency is a healthy temporary instinct, part of the survival system, which disappears automatically when the puppy becomes a self-sufficient adult dog, able to be independent and protect itself.

“In the human, the codependency is much more sophisticated. It is active during our first twelve years of life with a variety of restrictive feelings. It makes us dependent on our parents because it is unsafe to be out in the world on our own. It makes us feel anxious and insecure if we are left unprotected. We look up to adults, and we seek their guidance and leadership. We need a lot of love and validation. So we act in ways to please grown-ups. We resent it if we are unguided, and we feel unlovable and not good enough if we are rejected. This instinct is supposed to weaken around seven or eight years old when we start developing our own reasoning process and it should terminate at puberty.

“During these first twelve years, nature has entrusted our lives to our parents. They are our protectors, tutors, guides, and source of love and validation. We depend on them to do their job. We deserve to receive their leadership, to constantly feel safe and to get unconditional and unlimited love, validation, and guidance.

“Unfortunately, many parents are unable or just unqualified to offer proper parenting to their children. The consciousness revolution of the sixties has dramatically transformed our society, making this task much more challenging than ever before. The result is that many kids grow up without the fulfillment of their basic emotional needs and without a good leadership model that can be replicated in the process of becoming adults. The consequence of this is that many young adults are reaching puberty without the leadership tools required to take charge over their own mind, which has been dependent upon their parents since birth.

“So at the time that they are supposed to become independent, they don’t have the self-leadership tools to do it. Their mind consequently doesn’t feel self-lead, and it makes the decision that it is unsafe to give up codependency. It holds onto it. The consequences are devastating. People grow in age, size and experience but the codependency is still active making them feel like a ten-year-old kid unsafe if unprotected, and always in search of external leadership, love, validation and guidance. Remember that codependency is the software program that is supposed to get you safely from age zero to twelve. If the program does not terminate, the body grows, but the mind keeps running assumptions that you are still a child.

“Imagine a ten-year-old girl looking like a thirty-year-old woman that is living an adult life. She feels inadequate, like a child in an adult world, terribly anxious because no one is protecting her, and tries to please other adults to get some love and validation, constantly facing the fear of been rejected, judged, or abandoned. She may also be angry and resentful because she is not receiving the care that she deserves. Sound familiar, Liam? This is the condition described by the Bosurgi Syndrome.”

“The Bosurgi Syndrome is an unnatural human condition that is the result of lack of self-leadership. Our mind is always seeking efficiency and likes to stay abreast with nature. So with enough discipline and education, people affected by the syndrome can establish the self-leadership required to beat the condition. It will take time, but it is certainly possible. Liam, if you want to help your friends affected by the Bosurgi Syndrome, teach them some of the lessons that you will receive during the next sessions. You will be surprised to see that several of them will get it and come out from the Bosurgi Syndrome as if by magic.”

“My school is progressing fast, and I hope that in a few years we will be able to open centers throughout the world. In view of the magnitude of the problem, this is just a drop of water in the ocean. My hope is that the leading schools of psychology will acknowledge the existence of the Bosurgi Syndrome as one of the main psychological issues of this era. This will focus the psychological research to explore my methodology as demonstrated on a large number of cases and provide the clinical statistical work, the rate of success, and the permanent results required to demonstrate the validity of the therapy. For this purpose, I can offer clinical researchers hundreds of clients that have seen major permanent changes in their lives because of CognitiveOS Hypnosis. Unfortunately, the scientific community’s validation process will be very slow and terribly argued, but I hope that one day the medical community will eventually realize the gravity of the problem and start thinking about the available solutions. We have, with CognitiveOS Hypnosis, a very effective method that could offer many licensed professionals a new set of tools to be able to beat the plague of codependency.

“I also hope that more mind researchers, after having embraced the concept of the Bosurgi Syndrome, will find other methodologies able to deal with codependency permanently. Of course, prevention will be the real solution. The Bosurgi Syndrome can be avoided altogether with careful parenting and education. This should become one of our government’s major efforts. It can also be easily treated as soon it manifests itself during the initial stages of the teenage period. I have great success with teens. They are fast and wonderful to heal. My hope is that we will see teams of psychologists helping teenagers to come off codependency.” – The Mind Shaman

A case of Bosurgi Syndrome explored

A case of Bosurgi Syndrome explored

From the book The Mind Shaman –

“Let’s redefine the issue in order to identify the steps required to clear it. Nineteen years ago, baby Liam was born. His mind was equipped by nature with a temporary instinct called codependency. This instinct had the task of protecting Liam during his period of physical vulnerability and allowed his parents to raise and educate him. To limit Liam’s freedom and make him dependent on his parents, codependency restricted Liam’s mind with tools such as lack of self-confidence, anxiety if unprotected, search for external leadership and validation, etc. This is a totally natural process that requires a precise parental response in order to provide the expected results. It is supposed to disappear at puberty, when it is no longer needed.

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The Bosurgi Syndrome, one of the main psychological issues of this era.

The Bosurgi Syndrome, one of the main psychological issues of this era.

From the book The Mind Shaman –

“My school is progressing fast, and I hope that in a few years we will be able to open centers throughout the world. In view of the magnitude of the problem, this is just a drop of water in the ocean. My hope is that the leading schools of psychology will acknowledge the existence of the Bosurgi Syndrome as one of the main psychological issues of this era. This will focus the psychological research to explore my methodology as demonstrated on a large number of cases and provide the clinical statistical work, the rate of success, and the permanent results required to demonstrate the validity of the therapy. For this purpose, I can offer clinical researchers hundreds of clients that have seen major permanent changes in their lives because of CognitiveOS Hypnosis.

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The essence of CognitiveOS Hypnosis®

The essence of CognitiveOS Hypnosis®

From the book The Mind Shaman –

“We defined the problem. Now let’s identify the solution. As I explained before, the codependency remains stuck in adults because of the lack of self-leadership. This deficiency is the consequence of a behavioral system built during childhood without enough parental leadership, love, safety, validation, or guidance.

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