A personal story

Hello,

My name is David. I am a CognitiveOS Hypnotherapist. I am happy to be able to write this story about how I came to appreciate life and everything about it. It hasn’t been easy and it took me quite a bit of turmoil and suffering, but I did it. I’m looking at all of my experiences now with a deep sense of gratitude. I was able to learn so much and arrive to this place of happiness. It is so liberating to be able to say that I love life and believe it. I never thought that I would ever feel this way. I have been on such an amazing journey to discover this that I would like to share with you my personal story about my past struggles and my solid resolution to them. Perhaps as you read you can identify with some of these struggles and, if you do, I can tell you with a deeply true heart that you can find healing and empowerment the way I did, through CognitiveOS Hypnosis. I believe in this so much that I have left my previous life behind to become a CognitiveOS Hypnotherapist.

In my journey I learned that my own mind was functioning in error. My mind based its reasoning on fears from my past which filled my present with anxiety, depression, and loneliness. It’s habits were the causes of my problems. On my journey to correct my mind I learned how my painful experiences could actually be turned into assets of understanding in my present life. Here I will describe to you how this made sense to me:

As i was growing up I had a hard time fitting in with others. Mostly at school. I noticed the first moments of being different from the other boys around 5th or 6th grade. Then in junior high I hit an unimaginably crippling period of time. I was the brunt of jokes, a particular group of boys always came after me to highlight in front of everyone how i was a faggot, how I was not cool like them, how i could never be like them. Their words were so cruel. I was so scared and they made me so angry. Their words floated around my head all the time constantly stabbing my consciousness. At night was the worst time for me during these years because I had nothing to distract me from my horrible thoughts and memories of the experiences that got worse every day. My mind registered all of these experiences with these individuals as very hurtful. My mind kept me in constant anxiety to show me that these situations should be avoided at all costs. I thought many many times to end it all and tried a few times. I never felt right being inside of my own body. I was reminded daily of how I was not accepted or approved by them. Their rejection never ended.

In my mind I knew I really was different. I liked men. Growing up in a strongly religious family, this became another huge fear of mine. Not only was I rejected by classmates, but I felt rejected by my family because who I was was against the household’s beliefs. My family did not know the secret that I kept because I was so scared of the rejection that they would implement if they ever found out. My mind felt that the world around me was not a wonderful or safe place. My mind felt that it was full of judgment, abandonment, cruelty, and rejection.

Then later I somehow survived and moved on to high school, which was not as bad. I didn’t receive as much rejection from others, but I still kept my secret. By now I was already expecting to receive judgment and cruelty at any moment. By now my mind was full of fears based off of the experiences I had. This altered my behaviors. I didn’t allow myself to get close to my family, or too close to friends because my understanding told me that I would be rejected if they really knew. My mind believed that people can reject me if I come out as different and if they knew my secret they would come after me and harm me in some way. This secret, fear of rejection, and internal turmoil were coming out in a physical form. In high school I started cutting myself to show myself physical pain to represent my internal pain. It felt so good to cut. My mind was so full of anxiety and fears that I needed to turn to cutting to relieve my emotional pain on a physical level. It felt so good on a physical level which brought me a small amount of joy in the middle of all my pain. I turned to my source of temporary relief a few times a week. Just the same as for many others it feels good to drink, or do drugs, or lie to make us look better, or treat others badly. We all turn to many things to provide us temporary relief from our struggles. Now my skin looks like a Rand McNally map.

This pent up secret and frustration was really affecting my behaviors. During this time I became good at lying, learned to manipulate others and I showed a lot of anger towards my family and my family had no idea why this was happening.

I was yearning for a love without any conditions. I was wanting validation and someone who could accept me as I am. I wanted someone to give me attention. I thought this was the only way that I could survive, with someone else’s support because my mind was too scared to allow me to take leadership over my life. In social settings I would feel the need to brag about what I had so that I would look good to other people. I wanted to be better than others. I wanted attention and I got it when I bragged. I also learned to get attention from many other ways; manners, my car, my clothes, my hair, my music, my body, my job, and the places I went. My mind felt that I could only be truly satisfied when someone else was giving me adequate love and attention.

All the while I felt that I was being held back from my true potential. Something was in my way, but at that time I didn’t know what it was or how it could be fixed. I was so scared to progress myself because being independent seemed like a task that I could never perform. My mind never thought that I could reach my dreams. This made me settle for mediocre in many aspects of my life at that time, never fully satisfied.

At this time in my life I was very dependent on my family. Since I was too afraid to actively go out and achieve my own success, I was bound to my family’s support for many years. I absolutely hated this dependency. As the years went on without change my dependency switched from my family’s support to depending on other external factors; a man who could support me, my body to keep men interested in me for attention or tips at the clubs and bars where I worked. I spent hours at the gym to have a certain image which I thought would ensure an attraction from a man who could support me. I became dependent on my physical progress at the gym and the attention that I got from it. My mind kept influencing me to believe that I was doing a good thing for myself by fitting into this physical criteria which guaranteed external attention. I became a slave to this. In completing a great workout I felt that I was fulfilling my need. In doing these behaviors I was enabling a situation which made me more codependent. All of these behaviors confirmed the cycle of codependency: the more I relied on external validation and created the opportunities to get it, the more codependent I was.

As I look through my own story now I can see how my mind was misleading me by keeping me in a place where I could not be independent and self-sufficient. These poor conditions were causing the behaviors that I had, like cutting, self sabotaging, only pleasing others without loving and caring for myself, and procrastination. It was like a huge downward spiral. My codependency was causing me to behave in these ways and then my mind would view these behaviors as ways to keep me functioning and safe in my codependent environment. Deep down I knew something was wrong, but I just didn’t know what to do.

Then, at the age of 25, I was introduced to CognitiveOS Hypnosis through a friend and I was very quick to seek help. I had been going to many therapists and counselors all of my life looking for answers, but none of them worked. These typical therapists helped me understand things and how to cope with things, but all of my unwanted issues were still there when I left their office.

I took a leap of faith and gave this hypnosis thing a try. My experience of CognitiveOS Hypnosis was an incredible journey of healing where I removed the cause of my issues permanently, not just cope with them. I learned that my mind was keeping me in a place that I did not want to be and that it made me behave in ways that I was not happy about. My mind was absolutely saturated in this muck of fears. When I learned these fears when I was a child they were legitimate, but now as an adult they were crippling and unnecessary. My mind needed to be updated just like any of our iOS devices, otherwise it will malfunction. It was my mind’s ways and processes which were keeping me in a place where I was scared and susceptible to anxiety. I was afraid to succeed, progress and heal. Through this journey with CognitiveOS Hypnosis I have freed myself from all of the ties that I had before, all of the things in my own mind that were keeping me down. CognitiveOS Hypnosis cures people from co-dependencies and relieves fears that are irrelevant and in need of correction. The use of clinical hypnosis is used to take clients deep into their unconscious mind where this work is done.

Unbelievably I finally acquired independence, thorough confidence and leadership over my own mind, my own behaviors, and consequently my whole life. Moreover I found my purpose and empowered myself to do what really matters to me. My relationships are growing, my family is united, unimaginably supportive and very proud of me. My family remembers how I used to be. They would worry for me about if I would ever get my life together and now they celebrate with me in my freedom. They too will be completing this process to be freed the way I have been.

Now I wake up in the morning ready and willing to achieve all of the tasks of each new day. I no longer procrastinate on any of the tasks that I have responsibility over. Now it is my goal to handle all of my issues with work or home in an expedited way so that I am ready for the next hurdle that life gives me. I look forward to all the things that I can learn from each of my experiences, good or bad. I no longer turn to mindless things like video games or television to help ease my mind. I do not have time for any procrastination or distractions. I am ready for what is next, not hoping that I get a longer break for me to recover. There is not longer any need to recover because without my past issues there is nothing more that I need to recover from. I control my mind completely and I tackle all of the tasks that I need to do and this feels so incredible and even more empowering. I feel like a powerful intelligent beast, ready and willing for action. For me nothing else has ever felt so good and so deeply fulfilling than me living to my fullest true potential.

I am fulfilling my new profession of being a therapist. I have put myself at service to be able to create more transformations like mine for those who feel the way I did.